


My Scars Aren't Like Yours

by killajokejosie



Category: Full House (US)
Genre: Accidental Outing, Alcohol, Angst, Angst and Humor, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Becky is weird, Cheesy, Coming Out, Coming Untouched, Damaged, Danny is a neat freak, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, Dysfunctional Family, Elvis worship, F/M, FTM, Family Feels, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Fighting, Flashbacks, Fluffy Ending, Gay Rights, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Getting to Know Each Other, Greek heritage, Hair-pulling, Holidays, Homophobic Language, House Cleaning, Inappropriate Humor, Joey is oblivious, Love/Hate, M/M, Male Friendship, Male Pronouns, Nonsense, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Over a few seasons, Past Character Death, Past Drug Use, Past Pam/Danny, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Pennyroyal, Peppermint, Period-Typical Homophobia, Radio, Rough Sex, Sex, Shower Sex, Spice, Supportive Danny, Talk Shows, Talk of Pam, Tanner Family Values, This is weird, Trans, Trans Male Character, Trans rights, Transgender, Transphobia, True Love, Uncle Jesse is the best, Wake Up San Fransisco, Worry, citrus, eighties nineties trans issue, normalish relationship things, she is already dead, this is probably going to be long
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-09-08 07:00:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 36,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8834872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killajokejosie/pseuds/killajokejosie
Summary: The story was that he changed his name to Jesse because Hermes didn't suit him. He never told the story in front of anyone who could say otherwise. The truth was, Jesse was the easiest route from Jessica.





	1. Once Upon A Time, Or, How We Got Here

**Author's Note:**

> I've written this ship before, but never this way. I'm not even really sure how it became a thing, but it has and now I'm going to rock it. 
> 
> Judge all that you want my friends, I like this bang up.
> 
> This jumps pretty quickly, in the first chapter, because I wanted to take it right into a certain plot and I thought this was the best way to do it. Apologies if it doesn't make any sense.

It was all so simple. A daughter was supposed to be certain things. A daughter was supposed to make her family proud, contribute to society, become a wife and a mother, among other things so soft and delicate. 

Pam did those things. She was amazing. She could light up a room with her smile. She did what she was supposed to as a daughter. Beautiful, calm, and magnificent. Eventually became a wonderful wife and a mother. A wonderful sister. No one would ever be able to compete with her. It just was not possible. 

For all of Pamela's greatness, her big heart and selflessness, she never realized that she had left her own younger sister in the shadows. Not that Jessica had minded back then. Jess would have preferred to remain in the background forever, at least, that was what she thought back then. 

Of course, for Jessica, it was never going to be so simple. How was it possible to be a wonderful daughter, a strong woman, when none of that fit the person on the inside? The quiet, reserved young girl with the long, dark hair was just an outer appearance. Everything ran so much deeper than that. It always had. Jessica wanted to make her family proud, but it wasn't going to be the way that they had long since imagined. 

*

_"I don't know if they are going to be too keen on the idea of you dressing like that, Jess," Pam uttered the words as she stood behind the person she had referred to as her sister for her entire life. It was so strange seeing Jess like this, but she had known for longer than she cared to admit._

_Jess took a deep breath, opened his eyes and looked in the mirror. For the first time the outside seemed to match the inside. He was going to need to tweak some aspects of his look, but for the most part he was actually satisfied. This felt right._

_"Well, it is not exactly like I dress really girly anyways," Jess said, turning around to face his older sister. "Besides, I've taken the liberty of disappointing them once already when I cut my hair and told them that I like women. This is just the next step in the process. I am done being something that I'm not. I'm done with conforming to what everyone expects of me. This year, it is all about me, who I am, and where I am going. No one is getting in my way."_

_Pam's eyes were tearing up. It might have been hard to deal with, but at the same time it was incredible to watch this person she had grown up with finally come into their own. "You know, I always wanted a brother, and you practically are one,"_

_"I am your brother. This is real. I am a man."_

_"I know, I know, and I support you and I love you, but I'm also losing my little sister. I'm gaining something, but I had to get something taken away in return."_

_Jess sighed, feeling like his only choice was to hug his sister. It was strange to be comforting someone when he was certain that it was himself going through all of it. It was exactly the opposite of what he had imagined would happen. He should have known better, though, because he did have an incredible sister, and she would always be there for him._

*

When Pamela died, not long after the birth of her third child, the Katsopolis family was thrown into upheaval. Not one of them knew how to deal with what was going on, and it was only made worse by the fact that sweet Pamela had left behind a husband and three children. 

At first, it seemed as if things were never going to look up. There was no light in the darkest of hours, and this especially felt true for Jesse. Pamela was his world. She was the only thing that kept him from going over the edge, and sure enough she had done her fair share of talking him down from different ledges over the years. When he came out, she was the only one who still accepted him and supported the belief that he was the same person, just a better version of himself. And now, his rock was gone and he saw her every time he looked into the eyes of one of her little girls. 

During her funeral, and for several weeks after, he started to think things were going to be okay. He wanted to believe that it was all going to work itself out in the end. He assumed this, in part, because his parents that had had varying levels of actual communication with him over the years suddenly seemed to want to be a part of his life. The idea that they might have come to terms with the fact that they had a son was enough to make him consider coming home. They were even calling him by his name, and when they were having a hard time remembering the proper pronouns to use, the neutral ones worked just as well. 

They were a family again, and it shamefully took the loss of the best part of it to make them realize that.

Until, of course, they weren't, because their interest in becoming close again was partially due to his parents believing that they might actually be able to convince him to be someone he was not.

*

Danny Tanner, the tall, goofy husband of Jesse's late sister eventually came to his senses, realizing very quickly that his job conflicted heavily with trying to raise three girls. He enlisted the help of his best friend, Joey Gladstone, and of Jesse, himself. They were all going to live in the large house, together, as one big happy family.

As Jesse walked into the light blue room covered with pink bunnies he had to keep reminding himself that this was only going to be temporary. He was only there to assist Danny until he figured out a better way to attempt single parenting. This was easily going to be the most horrifying few weeks of his life. Not that he did not love his nieces, because he did, but rather because of who he was going to be living with. It was going to be a learning experience, especially if either of the other men found out about him. Pam had done a fine job at keeping his secret, even with her husband. 

He sat down on the small twin size bed and buried his face in his hands. He needed to be told, again and again, over and over, that this was real life. He was living with two other men and three little girls.  _What could possibly go wrong?_

"I'm insane, this is insane, what am I doing?" Jesse said, out loud and by mistake. Although, to be fair, he wasn't expecting Stephanie to be standing in the threshold. 

"What's wrong, Uncle Jesse?" She asked, cute as a damn button with her blonde hair and big eyes. 

He looked up at her, attempting to smile despite all of the pain that he felt, which had not been completely emotional, after all. "Nothing, sweetheart, I am just tired,"

"You don't look so good,"

"Probably because I am so tired," He chuckled. "And because your dad wants to give me a cleaning list,"

"Everyone has a list of chores to do, a clean home is a happy home," 

He found himself weak to her words, laughing at his young niece as she repeated the mantra of the Tanner household. He was pretty sure that Danny had been saying them to her since birth. 

Danny was a strange sort of man, and Jesse had been aware of this since Pam wanted them to meet. It wasn't that he didn't like Danny, it was just that he was pretty sure that Danny wasn't good enough for his sister. Well, that, and the fact that Danny was so openly emotional and proud, things that Jesse never felt he was allowed to be, because it wasn't masculine. How he was going to make it under the same roof as him was beyond the stretches of his imagination. 

"Did I just hear someone say that 'a clean home is a happy home'?" Danny asked, popping his head in the doorway. Jesse figured that his ears must have been ringing. 

"Oh brother," Stephanie sighed, shaking her head. 

"Just about..." Jesse groaned, letting reality begin to sink in. 

*

"I really need to thank you for doing this for me, it means the world," Danny said as he shut the fridge almost on Jesse's face. 

"Its nothing, Danny, because those three little girls mean the world to me." Jesse took a deep breath. "Also, please do not shut the fridge door on me, huh,"

"Sorry, sorry, I just...needed to get that off of my chest,"

"Was this different then the thirty five other times that you told me that?"

"Uh...well, it was thirty six, but I don't think that it will ever be enough," 

Jesse nodded, not having anything else to say to the lanky man beside him. He opened the door of the fridge once more, before quickly accepting defeat. What he wanted was not going to be found by just staring into the bright white shelves. 

He directed his attention back to Danny, who was unsurprisingly still standing there like a dumbfounded fool. "Hey, uh, do you have anything chocolate?"

Danny squinted at him. "Um, yeah, yeah, there is chocolate syrup in the door and then there is my secret stash that I keep from the girls in my closet."

Jesse reopened the door faster than he could actually process what to say next. He grabbed the bottle of chocolate syrup, flipping the lid off the top with the intention of drinking the thick, sweet syrup right from the spout. 

Danny yanked the syrup bottle right out of the younger man's hands. "Absolutely not,"

Jesse yanked the bottle back. "Absolutely yes, because I need it more than anyone else in this house,"

"Until you buy your own, I'm not letting you drink off of this one,"

That was it. There was no way to reason with him. Jesse tossed the bottle back to his brother-in-law, groaning and rolling his eyes before spinning around to walk away. For days he had been having conversations like this with Danny, and he assumed that it wasn't going to stop any time soon. 

He might as well actually try to get used to it, because there was no evidence to support things becoming smoother. 

*

Eventually, those few short weeks became something more. And, Jesse could not believe the way that things were turning out. There was a slight chance that he somehow, maybe, was kind of enjoying it. Being this close to his nieces was growing on him. He felt appreciated, by all members of the household. It was such a rare feeling that it all brought everything together...perhaps?

 

 

 


	2. Who Are You, Really?

"Uncle Jesse doesn't want to play in the back yard," He found himself saying, never completely clear on what it was in his brain that caused him to speak in third person whenever this happened. He groaned, knowing exactly where this was going to wind up, figuring that he might as well untangle himself from the blankets and suffer through whatever nonsense Stephanie actually wanted to do.

"Yes he does!"

"No, he doesn't,"

"Yes he does!"

"No, he doesn't!" Jesse said the words again, even though he still knew, even though he had beat it into his brain enough from the fifty some odd times that it had happened before.

Truth be told, it would have probably not been that big of a deal if it was not for the fact that he had not had the chance to refill his hormones. It had been much longer than he had anticipated, and he was already spotting. The cramping was just a sort of added bonus, a brilliant after effect of not having access to testosterone.

Stephanie began to cry. It sounded more than a little exaggerated, but Jesse Katsopolis was an admitted sucker and that little girl had him hook, line, and sinker. "Yes, he does,"

Jesse moved, yanking the blanket off of his legs. "Fine. Let's go outside. Not like I'm going to be able to go on my date later, anyways."

He followed the young girl out into the fenced in backyard, trying to ignore the more and more obvious lower back pain all the while also trying to remember when his last injection had been. It wasn't too long after Pam's death, that was for sure, and that was awful.

No, he was definitely not going on his date with Alexis. Not with these symptoms, and certainly not with the anxiety that came with it.

Stephanie grabbed his hand when she had decided that he just wasn't moving fast enough for her. She lead him over to the bench, ushering him to sit down beside her.

"Uncle Jesse, can I ask you something?" The sweet faced child asked.

"Of course, you can ask me anything,"

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"Of course, of course,"

"How come you have scars on your chest?" Her voice expressed how innocent she truly was. "Did someone hurt you?"

Jesse looked around the yard, double checking for any other potential sets of ears listening, particularly the neighbors' children. "How do you know about the scars on my chest?"

"D.J was talking about them with her friend, Kimmy,"

He took a deep breath, one hand protectively splayed against one of his scars. "Do you have any idea how they...why she was talking about them?"

"No,"

His feet couldn't land back on solid ground fast enough. He immediately was on a mission to D.J's room. He wasn't sure what he was going to say when he was actually able to confront her, but he was going to try.  

And, then he was going to call Alexis. And, his doctor. Probably in the reverse order.

"D.J!"

His oldest niece opened the door, looking up at him with a great deal of confusion. "What's wrong, Uncle Jesse?"

"We need to talk about something, privately,"

"Oh, okay, sure,"

Jesse moved forward, assuming the girl would take the hint and get out of his way. He shut the door behind him, leaning against it with his arms crossed.

Here came the hard part. Words were so much simpler when he didn't have to vocalize them to someone. "I don't know where to start, but I have a bit of a concern...based on what your sister just told me."

"What on earth are you talking about, Uncle Jesse?"

"Stephanie just asked me about the scars on my chest. She said she overheard you talking about them with Kimmy. I want to know why you were telling people, and I want to know who else knows."

D.J caved instantly. "I was only describing them because she was talking about the scar that she has from falling down the stairs, she swore it was the weirdest one she had seen, so I brought yours up. I didn't tell her anything else."

"The only reason that you know about them is because you walked in on me without a shirt on," He sighed. "What if she mentions it to your father? To Joey? They'll definitely ask questions."

"I don't even really know what caused them. I only have bits and pieces of information."

"You are ten, you don't need to,"

"Don't you want me to at least have a fake story to tell Steph?"

Jesse shook his head. He had something more for her, but the sound of Danny calling for him from downstairs snapped him out of it before he could say anything.

*

Alexis. Absolutely beautiful woman with auburn air, and a nice set of tits to compliment her great body. Jesse had his eyes on her for weeks. How could he refuse when she actually wound up asking him on a date? There were always complications when dating was involved, but he wasn't going to stop taking chances. It was not as if he hadn't struck gold a few times. 

But, none of that changed the fact that he had gotten distracted and forgotten to call her. Which only meant he had not been aware of what time it was in the first place. 

He looked at Danny when he arrived at the foot of the stairs. The older man simply gestured towards the lovely woman standing in the doorway. 

"Hey, Alexis," He mumbled, lacking the enthusiasm he had at least wanted to fake when he looked into her eyes. 

"Hey, Jesse," She began calmly, even as she placed her hands on her perfect hips. "You look like someone who is ready to go to sleep, not like someone who has a date,"

Jesse ran his fingers through his jet black hair. With everything that was going on, inside and out, he was really beginning to hate his current life. He was a mess, and his support system now consisted of a girl still in elementary school and his psychiatrist that he had neglected to see in over a month. And, the girl in school only knew roughly less than a quarter of what was really going on.

"Um, about that..."

"Are you kidding me? Did you forget?" 

"A little. I was busy, I have a lot going on. I was going to call you to reschedule, I meant to..."

"Whatever," She replied to his paper thin excuses. "I should have known that you were too good to be true. I'll save you some trouble, don't call me!"

She slammed the door on her way out causing the pictures on the nearest wall to rattled from the force of it. Jesse had basically shrugged it off at this point, but he waited before heading back upstairs, because he had this sneaking suspicion that Danny was about to say something. 

"She was a pretty girl, what was that all about?" Danny eventually spit out, as was expected. "Are you really not going to call her?"

"Does it matter?"

"No, I guess not. I was just curious. You've been a little on edge the past few days."

Jesse sighed heavily. "Well, I have a lot on my mind. I have to call my doctor, I have to talk to D.J about something. I can live without one girl, one date. I need to check on something upstairs."

"Jess, I'm a little worried about you,"

"Why? I am completely fine."

Danny reached out and placed one of his obnoxiously large hands with the long fingers on Jesse's shoulder, trying desperately to make a connection. For whatever reason, he wanted them to be really good friends. Jesse supposed, after all this time, that maybe he did have some fondness and affection for the man who eloped with his big sister. 

"I care about you. A part of me will always worry because that is what I do. You're family. Always."

Jesse smiled weakly. He was probably going to resent Danny's ability to express his emotions forever. He always shied away from doing so himself, afraid that doing so would cause him to no longer pass. His father had instilled in him the idea what men were supposed to be unfeeling and cold, and that had been a long time before he even came out. Perhaps, envy was the more accurate word.

"I'll be upstairs, I promised D.J we would talk,"

Before Jesse could escape, Danny pulled him into an awkward embrace. "Whatever it is, I'm here for you, if you need someone to talk to, if you need anything at all, I am just down the hall. Remember that."

*

It was going to be four more days before he would be able to get hormones back into his system. The spotting and the cramps that he had gone so long without, were just things he was going to have to suffer through. Thankfully, the bleeding wasn't that bad, yet.

In the meantime, he was going to try to relax, take plenty of ibuprofen, and he was going to stay in the hot shower way too long. At the very least, he was going to be able to deal with the intense pain that came along with his body trying to adapt to life without testosterone. 

He had to keep reminding himself that this was only temporary. Especially, when there was any amount of blood, something that made him feel incredibly dysphoric. 

"Hey, Jess, I know you're in the shower, but do you mind if I take a piss?" Joey called, already peeking his head through the door. 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever,  just make it quick, I'm almost done!" Jesse shouted back, lathering the shampoo in his hair for a second time. 

"Thanks,"

"No problem, Joseph,"

There was a silence that followed, neither of them feeling the need to speak any further. Jesse listened for Joey to finish, waiting to hear him turn off the water on the sink before making any decisions regarding his own. 

He pushed back the curtain, reaching for his towel. He glanced up for just a moment, locking onto Joey's eyes as he stared into the mirror. His heard raced as he struggled to cover the lower half of his body, fear building at a fever pitch. 

Joey threw his hands up, backing away from the sink. "Don't worry, don't worry, I did not see anything, I swear,"

"Even if you did, you can never speak a word of this, ever!"

"I'll never understand how men like you can be self conscious. If I looked half as good as you, I'd be..."

Jesse cut him off. "Out. Please, just get out."

*

"You know, when I was your age, there was this fantastic Barbie doll that everyone had to have..."

"Stop right there, Uncle Jesse, did you play with Barbie dolls? Barbie dolls are for girls?"

Jesse's eyes darted over to D.J, who was hanging on every word that he said. He searched her face for answers, trying to find a way to tell either of them about his past.

Of course, one day, he would end up telling his nieces the reasons that he probably wouldn't ever marry, why he would never have any biological children of his own, but for now, he figured that it was best that he made up excuses and pretended that there was never a point in his life when he was not male. Of course, D.J did have some backstory, but he kept it incredibly simple and clean.

"Some boys play with Barbie dolls, who cares?" D.J said to her younger sister, seemingly able to save the day.

"Not any of the boys that I know, but okay,"

"Some girls play sports, make a mess in the mud. It doesn't matter. You just do what you want to do." Jesse added, wishing that he had heard those words when he was a child. All he needed to hear was that it was okay and that he was valid, despite the fact that he was different. He would never allow his nieces to feel the way that he did. 

"Weird," Stephanie muttered.

Danny entered the girls' room, causing Jesse to jump up to his feet as if he had been doing something wrong. The taller man raised one eyebrow at him, questioning his actions with just a change in his facial expression. 

"Hmm...that's funny, I was actually coming in here to ask D.J and Stephanie if they knew where you were." Danny chuckled.

"Why? What do you need?"

"Actually, can we talk in the other room for a minute? It is kind of important."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, no, not really, I just have to ask you a few questions,"

Jesse nodded, moving his arm to gesture for Danny to lead the way. The two of them quickly moved into the hallway and then into the master bedroom.

Danny shut and locked the door behind him, moving to sit one the bed, patting the space directly beside him for Jesse to join him.

He reluctantly sat down next to his brother-in-law on the bed, worried about where this conversation might be headed. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for what was about to come next. 

It seemed that only silence was going to follow. The entire room was suddenly drenched in an awkward aura as neither of them made any effort to actually speak up. 

After a few moments had passed, Danny turned towards Jesse. "I know this is going to be a little bit strange, and normally I would take this sort of thing with a grain of salt, but then something else came up. Of course, with the kind of person I am, I simply decided to clean which added another piece of the puzzle, instead of taking my mind off of it completely. I've been really dwelling on it for a few days, trying to figure out how I was going to approach it, but it has only made things worse and.."

Jesse held a hand up. "Danny, Danny, Danny, calm down, you are rambling, you aren't making any sense. You need to explain yourself."

Danny inhaled deeply, still appearing to be a tad bit lost. "I don't know how to say it without you getting angry, or it coming off in a rude way."

"It is obviously going to be uncomfortable no matter what, so you might as well just say whatever it is and get it over with."

 

To Be Continued...


	3. Everyone Has A Secret

"It is obviously going to be uncomfortable no matter what, so you might as well just say whatever it is and get it over with,"

"Okay," Danny cleared his throat, eyes never leaving Jesse's. "I...alright, so last week, Stephanie asked me about the scars that you apparently have on your chest. I hadn't seen them, so I didn't know what to say. Last night, Joey began asking questions, he wanted to know about some of your habits, the fact that you don't stand when you pee, you know, normal Joey fascination. He thought that I would know because we are family, and I've basically known you pretty well since you were thirteen..."

"Danny, wait,"

"No, I'm not finished. I need to get this off of my chest,"

"Oh, okay," Jesse sighed. "Fine,"

"When I couldn't actually answer the questions I began to dwell on the reasons that might be cause for your ultimately strange behavior, behavior that I had always attributed to you, I never thought about it. I tried to remember what you were like when you were younger, I started to piece things together. I mean, what teenage boy moves away to live with an aunt? And, when I was cleaning I just happened to find your...uh..."

"You know what they are, so why don't you just say it?"

"Feminine hygiene products, for menstrual cycles,"

"Yep, there it is,"

"Right, there it is. Now, I am asking: are you a man or are you a woman? Is that why my memories of you are so fuzzy? Is it because Jesse was not always so masculine? Is it because Jesse just allows people to use male pronouns?"

"When you look at me, do you see a man or a woman?"

"Before I saw a man, but obviously that isn't entirely true. I might be wrong, and I hate being wrong."

Jesse needed to make a connection. He could feel Danny slipping, unable to grasp what was really going on. It reminded him of the way that his own mother had reacted.

He reached out and touched Danny's arm, wanting to see if he was going to pull away. His hand shook, but he held on strong.

"I am a man. I've known it since I was very young. Something always just did not feel right. I did whatever I could to avoid anything that would be considered feminine or girly, because that was never who I was on the inside. I went by Jesse, because it was neutral enough. I was just androgynous enough in the way that I looked, that I never had to worry about a stranger automatically thinking that I was a girl. When I got older, with the help of a few doctors who keep their work with people like me private, I was able to finally make sure that the outside matched the inside. Does that make sense?"

"No, it doesn't,"

"What more do you want me to say?"

"That you are not going to tell my daughters about this conversation. When we walk out, you will act as if everything is normal, and so will I. I will even tell Joey that all of his suspicions about your behavior are crazy. You are going to have to move out, however, because the influence of a woman who is living as a man, and believes that she is a man is not the kind of thing that I need around my children."

"So, what? That's it? You are going to kick me out over something that you don't even understand? That you aren't even trying to understand? I came here as a favor to you, because I love my nieces, I'm their uncle. I want you to remember that!" Jesse's words were filled with fire as he spoke, everything flowing out rapidly as the anger inside of him reached new heights. It hurt so badly. "My sister, she understood,"

He rose to his feet, his head shaking, fighting back tears that he didn't want to fall. There was so much pain associated with the words that Danny spoke.

This was the way he felt when his father told him that he would never be his son. All of the emotions rushing forward, trying with all of their mite to bring him to his knees.

"I don't know what else you want from me, Jesse. It is hard for me to explain to you how this makes me feel."

"Do you know what I think? I think that you are afraid. You're afraid of anything that doesn't fit into some perfect mold because that is all you have seen your entire life. Maybe, one day you will see me, see that what you've said is wrong." Jesse walked out of Danny's bedroom and right into his own. He had plenty of packing to do, anyways.

*

It had not even been ten minutes from the time he left Danny's room before there was a knock at his bedroom door. He groaned. It was so obviously Danny's knock, and he just did not know what he was going to say to him if he came inside.

He opened the door, barely giving Danny eye contact. "Speak,"

"You're right, Jesse, I'm afraid, but you are wrong on all of the reasons that I am afraid. I am afraid because of the way that I feel, the way that you make me feel."

"I don't...I still don't get what you're saying, Danny, you are going to need to be more specific,"

"I have been dealing with the fact that you have always been a man, a boy, even when you were younger...and, recently, before I learned any of this about you, I might have been developing an attraction to you, a man. I'm not gay. I don't like men, but there was just something about you. I couldn't place my finger on exactly what it was, but knowing that you were not always as you look right now, it became easier for me to accept. Even with all of that, I knew it was wrong. I attacked you, and I shouldn't have."

"You have a crush on me, Danny, is that what you are telling me? And, that it is only okay for you to have one because of what is between my legs? What would you have done if you had found out that I had male genitalia, then what?"  

Danny grabbed Jesse by the back of the head, smashing their lips together in a lusty collision of teeth and tongues. Jesse intended to resist, in the back of his mind the only way to properly respond to what was going on was to push Danny away, but somehow, he only seemed to be able to give in.

Finally, he came to his senses and broke the kiss, fingers lightly touching his lips in the wake of the sensation. It was a good kiss, if not a bit messy, and it scared him to have that thought for many reasons. 

He licked his lips next, trying not to add any additional sensuality to the action as he could still taste Danny on is tongue. His eyes darted upwards, meeting Danny's. His heart skipped a beat as he replayed the last few moments in his head. He wanted to close his eyes, give his brain time to catch up with reality and remind him just why all of this was against everything he stood for.

"That...cannot...happen...again," He mumbled, not wanting to make things more awkward then they already were.

"And, why not? You didn't seem to mind while it was going on,"

"I should not have to explain to you why all of this is not okay,"

"Well, I would like something," Danny took a step forward, trying to bridge the gap between them once more. "Anything,"

Jesse took a step back. "For starters, you just tried to invalidate my identity, everything about who I am as a person, you basically said that I was not a man because of my past and because you are insecure with your own sexuality. You come into my room, tell me that you might have feelings for me, but you were not really sure until you found out that I was born female. You were married to my sister, what would the girls think? Danny, are you even remotely considering the consequences tat would come with starting a relationship, or whatever, with me? And, the other problem, I am not gay, something we will definitely be if we were together."

Danny nodded, listening to every word, or at least appearing to be. He was still moving closer to Jesse, leaving him in a vulnerable position.

"That all makes a lot of sense, but I don't care. I know what I want."

"How do you know that I want you? Didn't I just tell you this was one sided? I don't like men. I just don't. I never have."

"Alright, then explain to me why you touched your lips in that delicate little way, just like Pam used to do," Danny chuckled. "That way that your tongue wet your lips, Jesse, why deny it?"

Jesse's breath hitched. He didn't know if the feelings were real or rooted in grief or unbalanced hormones, but his entire body was on fire. The want, the need, and the desire for the man in front of him were bound to destroy him.

This was wrong, but in that moment, a part of him allowed it to feel right.

He waited, just for a beat. He scanned his eyes along Danny's long frame. There were so many things he wanted to do to him. 

"Okay,"

"Really?" Danny asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I want you to kiss me again. You're a good kisser. Maybe something will come of this...maybe."

Danny grabbed him by the collar of his shirt this time, once again pulling him into a kiss so laced in lust that it was almost sinful. Jesse allowed himself to be washed over with the emotions that he had denied himself for far too long. The connection that he was feeling to Danny was strangely assuring, unlike anything he had ever felt before, with anyone.

When the kiss broke this time, it was more natural. Jesse caught his breath, resisting the urge to touch his lips as he had before. This didn't change the nagging in the back of his head that what he was doing would hurt Pam, that he was somehow doing something wrong, something that she would disapprove of, but he tried to enjoy it all.

"That was incredible," Danny said smiling, taking Jesse's hands in his. "I haven't felt this alive since before your sister died. This is fate."

Jesse yanked his hands away. "Don't get me wrong, Danny, you are a damn good kisser, but I am not feeling much of anything beyond that. As I said, I'm not gay, never been with a man, and I really don't think that we can be together. I tried. I'm sorry."

Danny nodded in agreement, but his expression spoke volumes, the story it told more horrible than what Jesse had anticipated. He had devastated him, and right after he was able to admit his attraction and break down the walls of stereotypical sexuality. 

He hated this, probably a little more because he was lying right to his face.

"It is fine. Its fine. We'll just pretend like it never happened. Its fine." Danny spit out.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course, I'll be just fine,"

Danny left the room a moment later, the awkward silence that followed his words too much to deal with. Jesse shut the door behind him, back against it as he slid down to the floor with real tears in his eyes. He was upset, he couldn't believe what he had done.

Tomorrow would be a new day, a chance to move past it all. Hopefully for the better of everyone.

*

As time passed, Jesse slowly began to feel better about the situation. He went right back to the way things were before, but with a far superior haircut. 

Unfortunately, no matter what he did, the look on Danny's face that night remained in the back of his mind at all times. And, it drove him to drink. Which, drove him to make a new friend by way of Danny's new co-host for his talk show, Wake Up San Francisco.

Rebecca Donaldson was a little bit feisty, with a lot of sweetness. A country girl who had transplanted herself into the big city with all these hopes and dreams that made her so endearing. The pretty brunette had just as many issues as Jesse, so there was never a dull moment between them. Plus, she just so happened to have the same taste in wine, a major added bonus. 

Weird apparently attracted weird.


	4. Never Been This, Cannot Be That

He reached underneath his bed, pulling out a long box. "My sister bought this for me when I turned twenty-one and I never opened it. Found it the other day, decided there was no time like the present."

Becky grabbed the bottle from Jesse's grasp, admiring the label. "Whoa, Jess, this bottle is as old as you. Probably worth a pretty penny. Are you sure you want to open it?" 

"Yes, it has been calling my name. This Cabernet was meant to be shared with someone. No one better to share it with than you."

Becky handed the bottle back to Jesse. "I know I said this wasn't going to happen but..." She stopped, less than an inch away from his lips. That was all the warning she gave before pressing a kiss against him, making sure that her point was made.

"I wasn't expecting you to do that,"

"I really wanted to, though, have for a few days,"

"Hmm," Jesse mumbled, twisting the cork out of the wine bottle and pouring the first glass. "I liked it, but I've mentioned before that things would be complicated, despite me having feelings for you,"

"I like complicated," She said, leaning in to kiss him again.

"Have mercy..." He barely got the words out before she caught him again.

"Perhaps, if you're good,"

Jesse sat the glass down. "Never," He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her on top of him. He bucked his hips against hers, grinding and creating as much friction as possible. Anything to illicit a moan from her.

"Did you put the cork back in the bottle?"

"Yes,"

"Good, because it will be a while before we need it again..."

Jesse pressed a finger against Becky's lips. "Before this goes any further, there is something I should tell you..."

"What is it?" She asked, undoing his belt, moving right on to his button and zipper.

"You might want to stop,"

"Just tell me,"

He licked his lips. "I was born a woman,"

"Okay, I thought maybe...a little," She was smiling, not terrified like some women had been. Although, to be fair, she was not like most women and she was already so far into this.

She hooked her fingers on the waistband of his jeans. He lifted his hips so she could pull them down, leaving him completely exposed from the waist down. 

She stared at him, taking in the entire length of his body, including what was still covered. She grabbed his thighs, spreading his legs apart. But, she was still staring at him, intensely. 

She ran one finger along his large clit, just wanting to see how it felt.

Jesse's head tipped back, giving in to the way that she rubbed her fingers against him. She didn't act scared or timid like most of the women that he had been with before. She almost seemed to know what she was doing.

"So, Jess, did the testosterone injection make it look like this?" 

"Injections...wait, how did you..."

"My roommate in college, but he was not as good looking as you,"

"Did you also stick your hand down your roommate's pants?"

Becky chuckled. "I am a lot of things, I do a lot of things, but I do not kiss and tell,"

Jesse raised his eyebrows. "I knew that you had your moments, but Becky, I had no idea that you were a liar,"

"You did not just call me a liar," She said, looking right into his eyes as she ran a finger down his thigh. 

Jesse shuddered. "So, what if I did?"

"Then I just might have to punish you for it,"

He placed his hands on either side of her face. "Where on earth did you come from?"

"No more talking, it is really hard for me to make you feel good if I have to keep concentrating on what to say to you in between the things that I am doing."

"You have a point there,"

"Good, you've got it, now head back, eyes closed, and legs apart,"

"Was that your version of 'lie back and think of Graceland'?"

Becky laughed, actually laughed, and her face lit up completely. Jesse was lost in her beauty, in disbelief that he was actually capable of having someone like her in his bed. His dad might just take him seriously if he knew about her.

"You are adorable," She told him, sitting up on her knees. "But you have also killed the mood, so hand me that glass of wine and we can cuddle.

"Oh, yeah, of course, after you got me all riled up," 

Once again her fingers were exploring his body. "Maybe if you buy me dinner first,"

"Are you asking me out?" Jesse grabbed Becky's hand. "What happened to us just being friends?"

"We stopped being 'just friends' when I kissed your stupid face,"

"Well then, maybe you should kiss my stupid face again, prove it,"

"Come here,"

*

"Jess, are you drunk? It is barely five o' clock." Joey asked. He tapped on the younger man's shoulder with little response. Snapping his fingers didn't seem to do the trick, either. "Jess!"

Jesse lifted his head off of the pillow. He certainly wasn't drunk, but he had drank enough to be buzzed, which had not been apparent until he made the effort to move. And now, Joey was trying to kill it.

"Damn, Joseph, what do you want?"

"Danny called, said that he and Becky were running pretty late and that you should start dinner for the girls," Joe explained, moving Jesse's legs to sit down beside him. "They are very hungry,"

"Are you sure that it isn't you who is the hungry one?"

"Well, uh, maybe,"

"Then go make yourself something to eat, huh?" Jesse griped, taking a swig out of the bottle.

Joey grabbed the wine away from Jesse. The cork was no where to be found, so he just sat it on the end table, in an awkward position so the younger man would not be able to instantly retrieve it. "You need to chill out,"

"What?"

"I've been noticing that you have been drinking more and more lately, what's been going on? Something happen between you and Becky?"f

Jesse shook his head. "I'm just doing a worse job of hiding it, still drinking the same amount. Things are...decent with Becky...we are still sitting in some strange limbo between being friends or something more. It teeters."

"Are you sure there isn't anything else going on with you?" Joey asked.

"I'm okay, seriously,"

"Good," Joey said, standing up straight. "Then you should be ready to make dinner,"

Jesse groaned. "I blame you,"

"I'll accept it, so long as there is some sort of meal on the table before Danny gets home."

"What's he gonna do if I don't, ground me?"

There was an agreed look between the two of them. Danny would basically deal with the situation however he pleased. He wasn't above being hard on Jesse, and he wasn't above treating him like a child, either.

*

Joey leaned against the counter as Jesse threw ingredients together in attempt to make something that actually tasted good.

"What are you making?" Joey asked him, for the fifth, or maybe it was the sixth time.

"I told you, a true magician never reveals his secrets,"

"I know, but it smells amazing, I haven't seen you this focused on something that wasn't Becky, wine, or your hair in months. It is kind of freaking me out."

"Perhaps, I want this to be a meal to remember,"

"You are a confusing person there, Jess,"

"So I've been told,"

Danny came in through the front door in his habitual way. He called out for anyone, trying to figure out exactly who was home.

"In the kitchen!" Jesse called, wondering why he was always the first person to make a sound.

Danny walked into the kitchen, barely paying any attention to Joey, or to the fact that his best friend still possessed ears. "Jess, that smells amazing,"

"I hoped you might say that. I always remember what you like of mine, my cooking. Just like I remember that Joey goes crazy for my friend chicken."

Danny sat his bag down on the table before moving behind the counter. With one hand he took the spoon that Jesse was using, and the other was resting on the younger man's hip.

"Mmm...are we having spanakopita, too?"

"Absolutely, wouldn't go without, though right about now I am feeling a little set up, when do we ever have these ingredients, specifically these?"

"I will never admit to anything, you will never prove it," 

Joey had noticed Danny's hand still on Jesse's hip. He furrowed his brow, gesturing towards it more than once. Jesse didn't seem the least bit phased by it.

Until the exact moment that it did.

"Danny, why is your hand on my hip?"

Danny yanked his hand away, placing it nervously against the back of his head. "I'm sorry, it was just a habit from...Pam,"

"It's okay, just don't let it happen again,"

"You don't have to tell me twice,"


	5. I Know the Sound

In the middle of the night, Jesse woke up, his dreams leaving him gasping for air, and more than a little bit sweaty.

Those dreams had absolutely nothing to do with Becky, either.

Apparently, Danny's hand on his hip had done more for him than he had expected. He thought that it was in the past, these feelings, but he was wrong.

He went downstairs, hoping something in the kitchen would give him refuge. But, Danny had the same idea some five minutes before him.

He considered turning around, avoiding him all together, but the part of his brain in charge of making bad decisions urged him to go forward. Clearly, there was no good way for this to happen. 

"Hey, couldn't sleep, either?" He whispered as he approached the tall man who was only dimly lit by the inside of the refrigerator. 

Danny spun around to face him. "I actually haven't gotten much sleep in weeks, this is just the first time I've had any company,"

"Yeah, well, usually I have a glass of wine before bed, which helps, not tonight though,"

"Might have to take a page out of your book," Danny chuckled.

"Or not..."

"Or not?"

Jesse grabbed Danny's hands and placed them on his hips, hoping he would get the message. "Or not,"

"But I thought..."

"I don't want to talk," Jesse spoke the words right into Danny's ear. If the point wasn't across now, he didn't know what he was going to do.

"Are you sure?"

Jesse didn't want to waste any more time. He was in control. He took one of Danny's hands and moved it down past his waistband. 

Danny immediately lifted Jesse up onto the counter, arms wrapped around him. Their lips collided in a kiss so incredibly full of passion that neither of them could breathe.

"I'm not...I can't...I'm not this kind of person..." Danny mumbled, on hand rubbing the counter top.

"i didn't think so, you would be spending the entire time thinking about cleaning the counter off," Jesse chuckled, sliding down until both feet were back on the floor. "What about the floor? Could do it right here behind this counter?" 

Danny nodded. "That could work,"

The taller man sank down to the floor in the most comfortable position he could think of. He stared up at Jesse, and even in the darkness he was able to admire everything that made him who he was.

Jesse dropped his pajama pants on the floor. For a moment, in the back of his mind, he felt like he was making a mistake, but he would have been lying to himself if he tried to say that he didn't want this. He leaned down on the floor, moving closer to Danny, the more he thought about it, what was about to happen, the more aroused he became. 

He unbuttoned Danny's pants, reaching inside. He pulled the man's throbbing cock free, stroking down the length of it.

"Whoa," He whispered, the word becoming audible completely by accident.

"What? What?" Danny asked nervously. 

"Sh...don't worry about it, I just was not expecting the overall size...it is bigger than anticipated." Jesse said as if he was actually the one who was nervous, especially as he continued to stroke his hand along Danny's shaft.

"Is that a bad thing?" 

"No, but if we keep talking it is going to be,"

Neither of them said a word following that. Jesse straddled Danny's thighs, suddenly having the man's precome wet cock pressed against him, making him moan with every unplanned movement. 

Danny moved his hand down between Jesse's legs. His thumb rubbed on his clit, while two of his other fingers slowly slipped inside. Jesse moaned, squeezing around Danny's fingers, he had already been wet before, but now he was completely soaked. 

Finally, Jesse batted Danny's hand away. He took the erect cock in his hands once more, leading it inside of him. The fullness made him gasp as his body adjusted to the feeling. It was only the beginning, and it felt fantastic.

At first, he moved slow, rocking his hips back and forth in a simple motion. He had his arms wrapped loosely around Danny's neck, head buried against his chest as he battled the overwhelming amount of stimulation.

It was clear that they both wanted more. They both wanted something that made this worth while.

Jesse gripped onto the edge of the counter above them as he rolled his hips hard with the rhythm of Danny's every move. He bit his bottom lip to keep from crying out, is body full of fire as it lit up right from the very core of his being, and shot all the way up his spine.

Danny moved his hands down to Jesse's hips, tightening his grip to the point of leaving bruises in their wake. He bucked his hips upward as much as his position would allow, hoping that Jesse would take the hint.

He did. Completely. He picked up the pace once more. He rode Danny until he felt like he was going to explode. His muscles could no longer support him, especially when Danny's cock hit that certain spot inside of him that sent him right over the edge.

The walls of his vagina began to spasm. His legs shook, unable to keep him steady as the roll of his hips became erratic before coming to a temporary halt. He held back moans as it all came crashing into him, aftershocks of his powerful orgasm rippling through him every couple of moments. He was a slick, sweaty mess, and that didn't bother him at all.

Danny thrust his hips a few more times. Jesse's own orgasm enough to throw him into his own release. Just before he came, Jesse pulled Danny's shaft out of him, rubbing the tip against his still very sensitive clitoris while he stroked him until he was entirely spent.

They recovered in silence for a few minutes, nothing but gasps and labored breathing to fill the space of words.

Jesse had no regrets. He just hoped that Danny didn't have any, either.

"That was..." Danny began.

"Good, I hope," Jesse chuckled, getting up to grab his pants. He'd worry about changing his shirt when he got back upstairs. 

"Better than that, it was absolutely incredible,"

"If that's the case I can't even imagine what you might say if you have me after I've had some practice,"

Danny buttoned his pants and rose to his feet, big goofy smile on his face. 

*

"You know what I always tell the girls, if they want to get better at something?" Danny asked, entering the bathroom behind Jesse.

It was honestly Jesse's fault, he had just gone in to brush his teeth, leaving the door wide open and had not been planning for anyone to follow him inside. How very wrong he had been was besides the point.

"Well, I am just taking a shot in the dark here, but maybe, perhaps, you tell them that practice makes perfect?"

"Exactly, and with that, I would kind of like to know when we might be able to get some practice in...for, well, you know?"

Jesse sighed. "Danny, it is a three letter word, there is no reason for you to be afraid of it."

"Does it matter if I say it since we both know what I am talking about? Besides, I want to practice because I don't really feel like it was a one and done sort of deal. I want to know what you like, you could learn what i like."

It was official, he had created a monster. One he had tried to avoid at all costs, one that only he was to blame for.

Jesse sat his toothbrush down on the side of the sink. "On the contrary, I am pretty sure that I know what you like,"

"Even if that is true," Danny announced. "There is always room to learn...something new, everyday,"

He walked up behind Jesse, hands on his hips, lips grazing against his neck. The contact sent chills up and down his spine.

Jesse quickly pulled away. "Don't touch me,"

"And, you don't want me to touch you, because?"

"I don't want anyone to see us. Becky is coming over, Joey is home, I don't exactly know where the girls are..."

"I see," Danny muttered, turning around to walk away.

"When you know that everyone is asleep, you can come find me," Jesse said to him before he passed through the threshold.

Danny walked out of the bathroom with a huge smile on his face. The same one he had worn after their first late night encounter.

Jesse ran his fingers through his hair. "Fuck..."


	6. Your Heart Brings Me Pain

The only place that wasn't occupied at night seemed to be the upstairs bathroom. With Becky passed out without any elegance in Jesse's room and Stephanie in Danny's ir also became the safest place in the entire household.

The moment that they were both inside Danny grabbed Jesse by the shoulders and slammed him into the door, pressing a hard kiss against his lips. 

"The shower," Jesse blurted out, knowing that at the very least, they needed to turn it on so that the noise would have some sort of barrier.

"You want to do it in the shower?" Danny asked with his eyebrows raised.

The concept made sense. Shower sex, shouldn't have really been that hard to work out in his head, but for some reason it was. Maybe it was the possible loss of control, or the fact that he would have to actually be completely naked in front of Danny.

The entire thing was giving him the beginnings of an anxiety attack, which harshed the arousal that he had moments before. 

"Is something wrong? You're staring off into space." Danny asked after he turned on the water.

Jesse took a deep breath. He tried to think of literally anything that he could say, but the words just wouldn't come out. He didn't feel this way with becky, there was not an awkward air any time he was faced with removing his clothes. She made him strangely comfortable, Danny made him feel small and weak, and strangely nervous. Not to mention a bit dysphoric. 

Sure, Becky hadn't managed to get his shirt off, either, but the lights had definitely been on.

"I...Danny, this is..." He spoke slowly, trying not to hyperventilate. His composure was slipping, bordering on just about non existent. 

Danny grabbed a hold of Jesse, wrapping his arms around his waist. "What is it?" 

"I am nervous about you seeing me without my shirt on. I know that it sounds stupid, I am usually so outwardly confident, but...when it comes to you..."

Danny cut him off with another kiss, sweeter and more incredible than the last. He relaxed into it, allowing his body to be washed over by the feeling.

Danny's lips traveled down Jesse's jaw, along his neck, nibbling in just the right spots. With every kiss he managed to distracted him just enough, unbuttoning his pants and untucking his shirt to start.

His hands slid up, working on the shirt buttons next. He continued to slide his hands beneath the fabric, pushing it back to expose Jesse's chest.

He caught himself staring a lot longer than he intended to, not because of the scars beneath his nipples, but because it looked exactly like he imagined, not really any different than any other man.

His lips were back on Jesse's skin in the next moment, trailing down from his collar bone to his chest, not once skipping a beat. This was everything that he had wanted it to be.

"You are gorgeous, I don't know what you were so worried about," 

Jesse smiled, blushing just a little. "That's it,"

"Huh?"

"Put your damn hands on me, let's do this,"

They were both naked shortly after the words came out of Jesse's mouth. Danny stepped into the shower first, leading the younger man in after him. There was something so perfect about this moment, just the two of them against the world. They stood under the stream of the water, washing away their pasts, taking their sins away. In here, they didn't have to worry about what anyone else thought about them being together.

"I want you..I want you in a way that I've never wanted anyone else in my entire life...and it scares the living hell out of me..." Jesse whispered. "And it kills me knowing that I have this wonderful woman who would actually probably be my wife, but I keep coming back to you...this whole thing...what is this? Is this the extent of whatever we are going to be?"

Danny caressed Jesse's cheek. "I believe this is just our beginning, we are going to be so much more than this. We haven't exactly been dealt the best situations, either of us, and I think us being brought together was just a way of fate saying it was going to be okay."

A smile came over Jesse's face, just in time to remind him what they were there for. There was not any time to waste, either. 

He stood up on his tiptoes for a moment, catching Danny in a kiss that managed to bring his half-hard cock completely to life. He wrapped one hand around that throbbing erection, stroking him until he let out a moan. 

He continued to pay special attention to the cock that was in his hand, already knowing exactly how to touch him. He adjusted the way that he was standing, Danny's cock in between his legs. He moved his hips back and forth, eyes closed as the sensation of of friction against his clit made his breath hitch.

"Oh my..." Danny gasped. "...Jesse..."

"It feels good, eh, I love this...never thought I would..."

"Kinda makes me want more, more of what we had the other night," Danny spit out quickly before he was consumed by another moan.

"That can be arranged," Jesse took a deep breath, reaching for Danny's cock once again, this time making sure that the length would slide right inside of him.

"That's what I'm talking about," Danny moaned uncontrollably loud as Jesse took him to the hilt, pushing him against the wall behind them.

Danny wrapped his arms around Jesse's waist again, holding him securely, but Jesse was still in control. 

Jesse rolled his hips in the perfect rhythm. He slowly worked up the pace with his movements and Danny began to find ways to hit that spot, effectively driving him deeper into his decent into madness.

In the heat of the moment there was a misstep. The shower curtain was torn down and both men came crashing onto the bathroom floor, with Danny on his back and Jesse on top.

Jesse tried not to laugh, feeling okay now, but knowing that he was going to be hurting later. Not to mention how bruised his knees would be, and how Becky was going to ask him plenty of questions. It was only a fraction of what Danny would be going through, however, his fall only protected by the thick rugs that were in odd places, scattered about on that damn hard floor. 

"Are you alright?" Danny asked, voice a bit strained as he breathed through radiating pain in his lower back. He was incredibly lucky that Jesse had moved enough to get his cock out of harms way, otherwise this would have been a much different situation, possibly for both of them.

"I'm a little surprised that you are the one asking that," Jesse half mumbled, trying to move into a more comfortable position while he still tried to keep himself from laughing. 

"I heard your knees crack when they hit the floor,"

"I heard your back, besides, it is my pelvis that endured the most damage, I lucked out. I am shocked that no one has come to find out what the noise came from."

"If they haven't came yet, they probably didn't hear it. And, my back will be fine...I think, I might actually feel better if...well, you know..."

"Is it impossible for you to say anything that might be considered inappropriate?"

"No..."

Jesse laughed, no longer able to keep it inside, reaching back down in between Danny's legs, amazed that he was still hard. He lead his shaft back inside. It wasn't as if he exactly minded being finished off, anyways.

*

"Ma..." Jesse took a deep breath, finding himself staring down into his cup of tea rather than actually making eye contact with his mother.

"What's wrong, Jess? I haven't seen that look on your face since the first time I made you wear a dress when you were little." The words came out of her mouth so fast and at such a great volume that Jesse almost had a heart attack. 

He was still determined to keep those that didn't know completely unaware of his childhood, or really anything about his life up until he started going by Jesse. 

His eyes felt like they were going to pop out of his head and his eyebrows continued to creep upwards. If ever there was a moment where he might die of embarrassment, it was probably going to be this one.

"And that right there, that's the way you looked when your father told you that you were no longer a part of the family," She added, almost as if it was amusing to her for some reason.

Jesse sighed. "Oh yeah, which time?"

"That doesn't matter. It is all in the past. Everything is smoother now, much smoother. You have to agree with that. My son and my husband are on good terms, that's what matters. Anyways, what is wrong, sweetie?" She finished with a breath, quickly taking a sip of her coffee before she would be able to speak again.

"Do you remember what you told me when I came out to you, the first time?"

"I think that I told you that I still loved you, and that I was glad that you felt comfortable telling me,"

"You also said you did not understand because you believed that I had such a 'crush' on Elvis, ignoring the fact that I dressed like a tomboy...who preferred the company of pretty girls."

"You remember that?"

"Yes,"

"Alright, well, what does that have to do with what is going on now?"

Jesse nodded, as a way to connect it to what he was about to say. "You might have been right about who I was attracted to...I have recently come to the conclusion that I might in fact, like men..."

Irene covered her mouth in shock. "What a shame that you didn't find this out before you did these irreversible things to your body!"

"That's...no, ma, no...what i have...I should have began this conversation with your monthly reminder that I am a man in a relationship with a really wonderful woman."

"How is Becky, by the way?"

Jesse smacked his forehead. This was useless. And, now he was hoping for some sort of savior to walk in on this awkward interaction. His mother meant well, she was mostly supportive, after years of being kind of weird about it, but she was never really going to understand what he was going through. It was too hard for him to explain. She was the family member that misgendered him the most, and she was always the one who felt like it was a decision he made, one that could be changed at any time.

Danny walked in the back door a few minutes later, proving once and for all that he was the only one capable of silencing the voice in Jesse's head. He didn't put him at ease, but he definitely felt like home.

Their eyes met. His heart might have fluttered in that instant, but he was not ready to accept or acknowledge that just yet.

"Hey, Jess. Hi, Irene," He said ever so simply before passing into the next room.

Irene looked at her son with those all knowing motherly eyes. "Oh, I get it now,

"What do you get?"

"Don't worry, I won't tell your secret, it is safe with me,"

"I don't know what you are talking about, but thank you anyways. I'm going to go call Becky." 


	7. This is How a Heart Breaks

Becky was naked when Jesse walked into their hotel room. This was serious.

"Oh...and to what do I owe this incredible pleasure?" Jesse asked, mouth curled up in a half smile.

Becky crossed the room, wrapping her arms around him. "I just wanted to apologize for what happened downstairs, earlier. It was really horrible of me, doing that, making you believe that i was actually interested in that guy. I am really, really sorry. It was an act, mostly for promotional purposes. I needed to tell you that."

"I blew up in front of a bunch of people and you are the one who is apologizing? I came up here to sort of apologize myself."

Becky chuckled. "Then I guess we are even,"

Jesse shrugged. "I guess so, although, I have to ask: were you serious when you...when you said that I'm not a real man? Do you really not think of me as a real man? Out there, they might not have understood what that meant back there, but I do. So, I gotta know the truth. Because, I really can't be with you if that is the way that you look at me."

"Jesse, there has not been one moment, not even for a half of a second, where I have considered you as anything, but a man. You're the man that I love. It doesn't matter how you became the man that is standing before me, it only matters that you are mine."

"Wow," Jesse smiled, a little wider than he anticipated. And, it wasn't all because of what Becky was saying. Part of it was because of what was in his pocket. "Thank you, I am really glad that you said that. Oh, and I love you, too, just in case you may have thought otherwise."

He kept his eyes on her, but there was a blinding distraction by way of the two small objects he had his hand wrapped around. He actually wasn't sure what was more important to him in that moment.

Becky buried her face into his chest inhaling deeply. She paused, lifting her head up as their eyes met. "Why do you smell like you were bathing in Danny's cologne?"

Jesse grabbed the collar of his shirt, curious about the scent she had picked up on. Sure enough, he quickly identified the hints of sage, tonka bean, and sandalwood, all obviously recognizable as what Danny wore. It wasn't at the levels of 'bathing', but it was pretty damn strong. He didn't smile about it, but he really wanted to.

The last thing Becky needed to know was that he had just been making out with his brother-in-law only twelve minutes prior.

"I do spend a decent amount of time with him, doesn't actually surprise me,"

"Guess you have a point...so, I've been thinking, since I'm already naked, we do something about it. I am kinda dying for a glass of wine and as taste of you." Becky said so suggestively that Jesse couldn't keep himself from moaning at the images in his head, some from the words coming out of Becky's mouth, some from what he knew would happen if he wandered back to Danny.

He had been intending to seek the tall man out once more, after he spoke to Becky, but that was before he found out that she was naked. Now, he was ridiculously, incredibly, more than a little bit conflicted.

"Becky...I...I...I think that we should...get married,"

Becky's eyes enlarged, clearly in shock, and rightfully so. Being completely blindsided by the words that had come from Jesse's mouth was not what she had in mind. "I beg your pardon? Married? Are you serious, Jess?"

Jesse didn't speak right away. He wasn't sure. He honestly had no idea if he was prepared for that kind of commitment. The terrible thing was that the only reason that he said those words was because he couldn't actually bring himself to say what he originally planned. It was the first thing that popped into his head. Perhaps, it was rooted back to the fact that she was standing in front of him completely naked. Of course, it might have also had something to do with him not wanting to endure any physical harm. 

It was all so stupid that the odds stood in favor of him enduring physical harm, anyways.

"Jess?"

"Uh, I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't serious, I'm not that kind of guy,"  _Usually._

"I don't know about that, you have said some pretty crazy things in the past that were not serious,"

He smiled, letting it all sink in. It might not have been such a bad idea. He knew that marrying Becky made the most sense, even if she was not the most sensible. She was still smart, beautiful, and accepting. He did love her, certain that he had known that from the moment that he laid eyes on her. Besides, actually being able to settle down with a woman, to be someone's husband, it all felt incredibly validating. That was the kind of thing that he had always wanted. He didn't want to be questioned, he just wanted to live.

It was a childhood dream come to life, so easy to grasp onto, despite something about it not feeling right.

"You're crazy,"

"Yeah, I am, about you. And, before you say those words again remember that once upon a time you actually paid money to go on a date with me because you are insanely jealous. Oh, yeah, and you are still naked. Who is crazy?"

"I see no problem," She whispered, pulling him into a lusty, wet kiss. 

It was in that very moment that he realized he needed to cut things off with Danny. It wasn't fair for him to keep this going with both of them. Especially, if he was really going to be marrying Rebecca.

"Get on the bed," He said back, catching his breath. "I'll make you with that you never even laid eyes on that other guy,"

*

When the light of the morning finally crept into the windows it woke Jesse. He quickly sat up, looking over at a still sleeping Rebecca, still completely naked. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about it. Then again, his current feelings might have been because she was, in fact, asleep. 

It didn't take long for the thoughts about marriage to begin seeping back into his brain. It was going to change everything. When the words had come out of his mouth it had made a lot more sense, it had seemed to come full circle. That had been incredible. However, now, it almost felt like he was betraying Danny, who he never even told that he wasn't going back to the night before.

He quickly got out of bed, grabbing his pants off of the floor and slipping his shoes on. He checked his pocket for the two small items, just to be sure that they were still there. He quietly slid out the door before Becky even began to stir. He had to clear things up.

Perhaps, seeing him face to face would aid in him making a proper decision.

*

"Jess, uh, I kind of expected you to come back last night," Danny said in a hushed tone. "Come on in, the girls are still asleep, we only have about an hour before we need to get ready to go home,"

Jesse sighed. "Danny..."

"What? What's wrong?"

"I make bad decisions while in Nevada," He mumbled, unable to resist nuzzling against the taller man's chest.

Danny pulled him completely into a warm embrace. Just like that his chest was pounding. He twisted his fists up into the fabric of Danny's shirt, wanting nothing more than to rip it off. In his mind, they should have been kissing, or at the very least he should have been kissing Danny's neck.

He did everything he could to move closer, grinding his hips against Danny. He was dripping with an almost overwhelming need to make the connection with the older man, wanting to make up for lost time.

"You know, this would not be an opportune time for the girls to wake up and see us like this, I just wouldn't know how to explain it to them,"

"Right, right, of course," Jesse said under his breath, taking a step back.

"Otherwise I would, always,"

Jesse took a deep breath. "Why are we such a mess? Why can't we just be normal?"

"Because sometimes 'normal' isn't what we are given, if it was then you would not have had to suffer through your childhood as you did, and Pam wouldn't have been in that accident. Sometimes a mess is just the reality of it, and sometimes that mess is beautiful."

"We need to figure this out, where we stand, because I can't imagine what my life would be like without...whatever this is between us, but I also know that what Rebecca and I have is real and good, it is actually the type of relationship that I always imagined I would have. I have to decide where my life is going from here...from this point. Someone is going to get hurt if I don't. I love you, if that helps, at all."

"Are you telling me that this is over?"

"I don't know. I guess that depends on you, just as much as me, doesn't it? I think that i am ready for just about anything that life throws at us. I am not afraid of what people think. I just want to be happy. I can manage some sort of happy with her, with Rebecca, I know that I could because she wants to marry me and she is my best friend, I love her. But, Danny, how can I do that when I'm in love with you? When all I want to do is spend my days with you, wake up next to you, be yours? It is awful and everyone is going to hate me for it, but...it is you."

"A while back I told you that it was just the beginning, I meant that. I still do. I love you, too, Jess. I think I've known that for far longer than we've been together in this capacity. Wow, it feels good to say that. I love you. I love you, Jesse Katsopolis. I'd love to spend the rest of my life with you...I cannot believe how amazing it feels to actually say that out loud. I never thought that I would be able to feel this way again after Pam died. But, I love you."

Jesse's eyes were smiling before his mouth could catch up and turn at the corners. And, then he remembered a small detail that he had forgotten to mention. "Oh, I might have accidentally proposed or pre-proposed to Becky last night,"

"How exactly does one accidentally propose?"

D.J was awake now. She had heard a good portion of their conversation, remaining completely silent until Jesse had said something about his proposal. "Dad? Uncle Jesse? What is going on? What are you talking about?"


	8. I've Lived So Many Lives, But None Mattered As Much As Tis One

"Your Uncle Jesse is getting married to Becky. He asked her last night." Danny blurted out.

Jesse's eyebrows raised immediately. Once again, he was left in a position that was going to be harder to talk himself out of than he wanted. He already knew he had to go through the horrible moment of explaining to Rebecca why they couldn't be together. 

"I'm not stupid, okay, I heard you telling Uncle Jesse that you loved him like you loved mom...is that true?"

Danny took a deep breath. "Deej, I really don't think that now is the time to have this conversation. We will discuss everything when we get home, as a family."

"What difference does it make? You said you loved Uncle Jesse and I want you to just admit it. Right now."

Jesse stepped towards his niece. "C'mon, D.J, let's not make this a bad day. We have to travel, get home, settle down. Then we can all talk about this."

D.J shook her head. "No! I deserve to know what is going on!"

Her shouting woke up her sisters. Stephanie shot up immediately, turning her attention to the commotion that was on the other side of the room.

"Is it morning, already?" She asked in her sweet, sleepy voice.

"Yes, it is, honey, and it is almost time for us to leave," Danny told her.

"Why is everybody so angry then? Why is there shouting? What happened?"

"Dad and Uncle Jesse are boyfriends," D.J grumbled, arms crossed.

"I don't understand, who are their girlfriends? Don't they have to have those before they can be boyfriends." She inquired as children her age tended to do.

"They are each other's boyfriends, Steph. I saw them hugging and telling each other that they love each other." D.J told her younger sister.

"What?"

"D.J, we are all family. We tell each other that we love one another all the time." Jesse grasped at straws, desperately trying to counteract what his niece was saying it was mostly hopeless, but he was making the effort, anyways.

"Not that kind of love we don't, you two love each other,"

"D.J, we will discuss this further when we get home. Until then, we need to be civil with one another and not make such a big deal about anything. There will be no more word on the matter." Danny asserted, gesturing for her to keep her voice down.

There was a knock, and the distinct sound of Becky sighing on the other side. It was now or never, Jesse had to tell her. Or, maybe, it was as soon as they arrived back in San Francisco.

*

This was probably the worst tension that Jesse had ever experienced. It outdid what he had felt when he had came out to his parents, and that had been one of the worst days of his life.

Now, he was sitting in the living room with his nieces and Danny. A couple of times Danny reached over, almost grabbing his hand, but he knew better and he resisted. That literally was the best idea he had all week.

"Alright," Danny said, clearing his throat. "I am going to conduct this family meeting a little bit differently. Instead of me droning on and on, taking for hours on ed, I am going to allow whoever would like to speak and ask any questions that they may have."

Stephanie rose her hand first, a brilliant amount more curious about the situation. "Are you and Uncle Jesse going to get married?"

Danny shook his head. "Uncle Jesse and I can't get married because...it isn't allowed right now, sweetie. I can't really explain it to you further than that right now, but you will understand a little better when you are older."

"Do you love Uncle Jesse?" She asked next, looking at both men. "Really, really love him?"

Danny turned towards Jesse. This time he actually grabbed his hand. He felt so sure of himself. "Yes, I do. Very much. He is an amazing person and I find a new reason to love him every single day."

"But Uncle Jesse is a boy, are you sure that boys are allowed to love other boys?"

Jesse nodded. "Of course, it doesn't matter who you fall in love with, it just matters that you love each other will all of your heart. This is going to take some getting used to, and your dad and I understand that, mostly because we are still getting used to it ourselves. Neither of us were expecting to fall in love, but things changed. And, we were going to sit you girls down and tell you when the moment was right, but that changed as well."

"Are you sure? I have never seen this before. How are you going to be able to keep being our Uncle Jesse when you are also like our second daddy?"

Joey entered the room from the kitchen. He wasn't usually kept out of any of the family meetings, which this definitely looked like. He had been dealing with feeling like he was out of the loop when it came to Jesse and Danny for quite a while, this only managed to make matters worse.

He observed his surroundings. D.J was angry, arms crossed; Stephanie was staring wide eyed at Jesse; with Michelle almost oblivious to the entire situation; but the biggest detail of it all was the fact that the two men in the room were holding hands, and those hands were resting in the younger of the two's lap.

Flashes of all the little things he ignored began flooding into his mind. It was all coming together and he felt like a complete idiot for not noticing it sooner. 

"WHAT?!" He blurted out before anyone could react to him being in the room. "What is going on here?"

Jesse moved so quickly he practically threw Danny's hand from his lap. "Joey, when did you get up?"

"About ten minutes ago, but now I am wishing that I had done so sooner,"

Stephanie shot up from her seat, huge smile on her face. The uniquely understanding child who had absorbed so much of the good in the world, a lot like her mother and just as inquisitive, was also the one who was going to spill the beans. The words were going to come out of her mouth before anyone could stop her, and maybe, that was okay. "Daddy and Uncle Jesse love each other,"

Joey directed his attention back to his apparently more secretive than he thought best friends. "You two are in love with each other? Is she...being...is that...what!? I thought...maybe...what!?"

Jesse and Danny looked at each other again, searching for the next thing to say. On one hand, telling Joey meant that they didn't have to hide it anymore at the house. On the other hand, he might not exactly react favorably, which was going to be a risk with anyone who found out.

Telling people that they were together was almost as bad as telling people that Jesse was transgender, or so he thought. However, currently, it seemed like a lot less people knew that detail about him then about his relationship.

Jesse took Danny's hand back, giving it a tight squeeze. "I love him, he loves me, and we have decided to be out as a couple, willing to face any challenged that may come, and that includes continuing to raise these three beautiful girls alongside our best friend."

"Never in all the time that I have known you have I ever once thought you...liked men...it was possible with Danny, I wondered sometimes, but then he married Pam. This is not what I expected. But, if you really love each other then I guess that I don't have any choice, but to accept it for what it is. You two are both my friends, I want you to be happy. Just please, don't do any gushy stuff in front of me. I don't even like that when straight people do it."

Jesse chuckled. "Its a deal, right Danny?"

"Yeah...can't believe my best friend thought that about me though..."

D.J muffled a scream into a throw pillow. She was upset about the whole situation and not one person understood how she was feeling, or why. 

"Deej, Deej, what is wrong?" Danny asked his eldest daughter. "You know that you can tell us how you are feeling. That was one of the conditions."

She pulled the pillow away from her face, locking eyes with her father. She knew that her father hadn't been happy, at least not in this way, since her mother died, but that didn't mean that she had to like what was going on.

"I don't understand why the two of you are together. Uncle Jesse is our mom's brother. If she was alive she wouldn't want the two of you together, especially because you are both boys. There is no way for you to have a wife if you are in love with him, no way for us to ever have a step mom." D.J explained her anger a little, but it still left questions.

"D.J, you know that this would not have happened if your mom was still alive, I could never do that to her," Jesse said, running his fingers through his hair. 

"And, don't you want me to be happy, and for your Uncle Jesse to be happy?"

"Yes..."

"So, what difference does it make if we are together or not together, as long as we are happy. Your mother wanted us both to be happy, and I think it would warm her heart to learn that we had found love in each other, because that is how much she loved her family."

D.J got off of the couch. "I'm going to Kimmy's house, you can call the Gibbler's phone if you need me,"

"D.J, wait!" Jesse called out, but the young girl was already out the door, allowing it to slam behind her.

"She is just upset. She isn't used to it. She will come around in time." Joey told him, trying to assure his friend that all hope was not lost.

"I hope you're right," Danny mumbled, happy that his other daughters were either really positive, or too young to really understand what was going on. 

Whichever was the case, they had a long road ahead of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter might be a little...awful


	9. Where Does It Go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any weird errors in this chapter are the fault of wine
> 
> Also cut the real bad part for the next chapter.

Jesse could not believe how absolutely amazing it felt sleeping in Danny's arms. For all of the chaos that their life was becoming, this was oddly peaceful and incredibly nice.

This change was probably too soon, but he didn't care. He didn't feel like it would make that much of a difference if he had chosen to sleep in his bedroom, anyways. He truly hoped that everything would work out in the end, and this was the first step.

Despite some hiccup along the way, he believed that they were headed in the right direction.

He turned towards Danny, finding new ways to snuggle up against him, taking advantage of especially long limbs and a warm torso. Sure, he was tall in his own right, but he was just not built the same way that Danny was. He had wide hips and a plethora of other features that he had deemed too feminine, things he wished he could permanently cover.

Which was just the right reminder for him that he needed to take his shot, lest he wind up making a mistake. He knew that missing one wouldn't be the end of the world, but there was no use in messing up the schedule.

Danny opened his eyes, a smile immediately coming over his face. He kissed Jesse's forehead before finding a way to close whatever was left of the gap between them.

"I love you," Jesse whispered, knowing that this was the only thing that was right in his life.

"I love you, too, Jess," Danny said back, taking a deep breath. "I love you more than I could have ever imagined."

*

There were a lot of stupid excuses for things in the world, Jesse knew this for a fact because he had already used most of them on multiple occasions. So, naturally, when he informed Becky that he was sick, thoughts of the pure level of ridiculousness that was involved irritated him. He was supposed to be mature. Lying to her about his health was the opposite.

It had been two days since they arrived at home. All he really wanted was to find an elegant way to tell her what was going on, preferably without hurting her and breaking her heart, which was easier said than done.

He was pretty sure that he was screwed no matter what. This became implicitly clear when she brought him soup.

He was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"Becky dropped this off for you, its soup. Tortilla, extra spicy, because apparently you like that, and without chicken, because it has too much estrogen in it which apparently is something she is trying to keep you from having." Joey explained, setting the bowl on the counter. "Why does she still think that you are sick?"

"Because I haven't told her otherwise considering that I am apparently a terrible person. This is what I get for being so wrapped up in my own issues. And, believe me, I have plenty."

"She really does deserve to know what is going on. It is going to give Danny an aneurysm if he can't talk about how much he loves you to someone outside of the house."

"He really does love me, doesn't he?" Jesse asked as the smile he couldn't prevent ended up creeping over his face. He was doing that a lot more lately. He was happier than he had ever been. It was amazing.

"I don't think I've ever seen you smile like that. It suits you. Danny was just what you needed."

"I know, who would have thought?"

"Certainly not me, that's for sure,"

Jesse looked up at the clock. "Maybe I should make time to go visit Becky before Claire gets here,"

"Oooh, is Danny going to tell his mom that you two are seeing each other?"

"I'm not sure. We haven't even really gone on a real date or thought about what exactly we are to each other besides lovers."

"It is going to be weird, don't you think? Telling your parents you are in a gay relationship?"

"We will cross that bridge when we come to it,"

*

"Becky, we need to talk," Jesse said the moment that his dear friend opened the door. "And thank you for the soup, it was very good,"

"Jesse, I've been wanting to talk to you as well, it is important," Becky replied, eyes never meeting Jesse's. "And you are welcome for the soup, I made it myself,"

The two sat down in her small kitchen, cups of tea in their hands. This was going to be difficult, no matter how it ended. Jesse's heart already hurt like hell, and it hadn't even begun.

"Who is going to start?" He asked.

"I guess it doesn't really matter,"

"Okay, then, how about you begin?"

Becky took a deep breath. "Alright, alright, so you remember how I said that I have no problems being with you long term? Yeah, well, the past couple of days, I have been really thinking this over. There are two things in particular that bother me."

"What are they, if you don't mind?"

"One is, kids. We both have mentioned wanting kids, but how exactly would that work without becoming incredibly expensive? And, I've had a lot of complications, female problem wise, I really don't know if I am capable of carrying one if I was even given the chance to. Maybe, I can't have biological children at all. Then there is you, have you ever considered carrying a child? Would your eggs still be healthy after the years and years of hormones and stress? Being a mom is something that I have to be, there is no other option."

"I...I can't...no...I cannot carry a child. That is too much for me. I do not think it is right to even attempt it after hormones. I do not menstruate anymore, so logically, I am probably not ovulating. I don't think I can even have my eggs harvested without coming off of hormones, and I'm sorry, but that is just not going to happen unless I have to. The...feelings...I would probably need therapy afterwards...during." Jesse closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to keep himself from hyperventilating. He was one wrong response away from an anxiety attack, leading him to believe he obviously did not have everything under control.

"See, the way that you are reacting right now is why I don't think that we are really ready to get married. I love you, but this is a big deal."

"Yeah, I agree with that one thing, but what was the other thing you had an issue with? Or were they both somehow wrapped up in that last one?"

"Ah, no, they aren't. The other thing, and please don't get mad that I am bringing this up, but I think that you are in love with someone else. I happen to think that whoever it is...is the same person who left those bruises on your hips a while back. Whoever they are, they're really lucky to have you because you are an amazing, brilliant, talented, loving man. You need to be with them, because that is what is going to make you happy." Becky explained, taking both of Jesse's hands in hers. "I love you, you are the best friend that I have ever had, and I hope that we can still share this connection."

Jesse was tearing up. It was an unexpected outburst of emotions fighting to escape. Everything about it was all so very strange. He couldn't figure out why it was affecting him so much when he had literally come over to do exactly what she had beat him to.

"I am so sorry, Becky, I can't believe that it has come down to this,"

"Better now then down the road. The last thing I would have wanted to happen is for us to actually get married before getting this all out into the open."

"Yeah, I guess you're right,"

Becky leaned forward, catching Jesse in a lip lock, one last time. "Besides, if the person that you are in love with is who I think it is, then I fully support it and think that the two of you are probably great together...no, you definitely are."

Jesse cocked his head to the side. "Who? Who do you think it is?"

Becky chuckled. "Danny, of course,"

"What? Why him?"

"Because he talks about you a lot more than he does most people. He also may have implied that he was sort of with someone, someone he really cared about."

"That could be anyone,"

"He has pretty big hands, Jess, just like whoever left those bruises on you,"

Jesse nodded, licking his lips. "Look at you, reading me like a damn open book again,"

"It might be because I know you inside and out, because I care so much about you." She smiled. "Like I know you came here to tell me about Danny today."

"Damn," Jesse wiped a tear off of his cheek. "Thank you," 


	10. All I've Ever Needed

Jesse swung his leg over his Harley, immediately realizing that he parked behind a car he didn't recognize. He figured that it belonged to Claire. This was going to be interesting. 

He had no idea what he was going to be walking into. There was a chance that Claire already knew about his relationship with her son, but it was just as likely that she didn't have the faintest clue. On top of that, he didn't know how she was going to react to the situation. It wasn't conventional.

The stress of it all was making his stomach hurt. At least, he hoped it was his stomach. There was always that chance that he was dying. That was the dramatic side of things, but it didn't matter.

He snuck in through the kitchen door, guessing that Claire would be in the living room. He walked in quietly, tiptoeing backwards until he was stopped by a body. He spun around to face the person who had stopped him.

"Hey,"

"I missed you, was wondering when you were coming home," Danny whispered, pulling Jesse into a tight embrace.

"Are you going to hug me every time that I walk through the door?"

"Until you tell me to stop," 

"Then you better kiss me, as well," Jesse told him. "Though you might want to wait until we are not at risk of someone walking in on us,"

Danny let go of Jesse, realizing that the younger man was right.

Claire did open the kitchen door a moment later, proving their time was incredibly accurate. "Danny, sweetie, can we..." She stopped, eyes locked onto Jesse. "Oh! Jesse is finally home! Wonderful!"

"What did you need, mom?" Danny asked, curious as to what she was going to say prior to seeing Jesse in the room. 

"I just thought I might be able to speak to you in private about D.J. She told me why she has been acting the way she has. It is a bit concerning, but it also sounded completely insane. So, I wanted to come to you about it."

Jesse's eyebrows raised. The only reason he could think of that had been causing D.J to be upset was his new relationship with her father. This did tell him that Claire had not been told before, if she was going to freak out, she was doing a damn good job of hiding it. 

Danny pinched the bridge of his nose. "Could this be about Jesse and I being together? Because, I swear that I was going to sit you down and tell you about it later."

Claire crossed her arms, apparently a Tanner trait. "You and Jesse are really seeing each other?"

"We see each other everyday, Claire, we live together," Jesse said, laughing nervously.

"This is not a time for jokes, Mr. Katsopolis, this is a very serious matter. An environment with homosexual men is not a good environment to be raising young girls in. Do you want them to think that this is normal?"

"I see, when you are angry with me you call me by my last name. Ha, why does this matter, anyways? I love your son. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have never felt like this before. It might not be what people consider 'normal', but it is our normal. We want the girls to know that what really does matter is the fact that we love each other, completely."

Clair kept glancing back and forth between her son and Jesse. She was disgusted, it wasn't hard to pick up on it.

It also wasn't hard to pick up on the fact that Danny was devastated by all of this. Not having the support of his mother was crushing him.

Danny crossed the room, getting as close to Jesse as possible, wrapping his arms around the younger man's waist. "Mom, I hate to say this, but if you can't accept us as a couple, accept our wonderful family dynamic, then you can't stay here. I love you, but I am not going to change who I am just because you don't agree with it. If you don't like how I live my life that is fine, if you don't like who I chose to spend my life with, that's fine, but you are not going to make a big deal out of it, either. We are in love. It is that simple. Take it or leave it."

Claire shook her head, looking toward the ground. She didn't say another word. She didn't even move.

Danny pulled Jesse into a kiss, one that made Jesse's toes curl.

When the kiss broke, Jesse placed his hand on his chest, feeling the rhythm of his fast beating heart. "Have mercy..."

"That...yeah..." Danny mumbled, still holding Jesse flush against him.

"I will not stand for this! I will not!" Claire shouted, leaving the kitchen.

Jesse winced. "Ay..."

"What's wrong?"

"She's going to run over my bike! I parked behind her!"

Danny's eyes grew large and both men ran after her, hoping to reach her before she took her anger out on Jesse's expensive Harley.

*

"Are you sure that this isn't making you reconsider being with me, you know, everything that is going on with your mom and with Deej?" Jesse asked, taking a moment to lift his head off of Danny's shoulders, lest he accidentally fell asleep.

"You know what? No. I thought I might be affected by the way my mother reacted, but it doesn't bother me one bit. She's my mother, I do love her, however, she is not in charge of my life and she does not get to decide who I fall in love with. And, yes, there is still the issue of D.J, but my daughter is also not in charge of my life."

Jesse wrapped his arms around Danny's waist. "I might have an idea about that one,"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it for a few days, since we got home, actually, a way to get her in a better state of mind. I seriously think that I might be able to make her understand."

"Care to let me in on this little plan of yours?"

Jesse sat up and swung his leg over to straddle Danny. "A good magician never reveals his secrets,"

"Hm, and here I thought you were a musician, guess it makes sense, they almost sound the same," Danny chuckled, moving his hands along Jesse's thighs.

"Very funny," Jesse moved just enough, grinding his hips against Danny, hands on either side of the man's face. "How long before the girls get home?"

Danny checked the clock. "About twenty minutes,"

"This could work,"

"Well, I must be in very good hands,"

"I'm in good hands, actually," Jesse whispered in Danny's ear.

Danny began working on the belt of his pants, quickly doing what he had to in order to pull out his half hard cock.

Jesse stood up, taking his own pants off and kicking them to the side.

Danny was at a loss for words. He watched Jesse move, cocking his hip to the side. He reached in between his legs, stroking his throbbing erection in rhythm with what Jesse was doing to his clit. He was pretty sure that he was going to come with or without Jesse taking care of the situation himself.

He gestured for Jesse to come closer. A wicked smile crossed the younger man's face. He stepped toward him, pressing one knee into the couch cushion as he positioned himself over the thick cock he wanted inside of him so badly.

Danny placed his hands on Jesse's hips. This was what they needed.

Jesse rocked back and forth. It didn't take long for his breathing to become labored. He buried his face in Danny's neck. His breath was hot, lips barely touching the taller man's skin.

"Oh...Jess...damn..." Danny sighed, hands moving up to thread through Jesse's thick hair.

They were so involved with each other that they didn't notice the lock on the door being messed with. Someone was home early, or knew how to get in.

The door opened, and in walked Becky. Jesse and Danny had both forgotten that she was supposed to stop by, and she still knew here they kept the spare key.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I should have knocked! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'll come back later!!!" Becky shouted in surprise, immediately covering her eyes while trying to back out of the house.

"No! No! Just quickly get into the kitchen. We'll be there in a minute!" Jesse shouted, gesturing the woman to head into the next room.

Rebecca did as she was told, moving as fast as her feet would take her. She tried her best not to look, but she couldn't avoid a couple glances that way while attempting to stop herself from running into any pieces of furniture.

Jesse got off of Danny. He realized something as he did this, and he wasn't sure if it made him angry or just unsatisfied.

He raised an eyebrow at Danny. "Well, that was anticlimactic, for me,"

"it happens, it just hasn't happened like that in a very long time," Danny muttered.

"Yeah, especially inside of me. I'm going to go wash up. I can feel...I feel so gross. I hate that." Jesse squirmed, pulling his pants back on.

 "Wow, Jess, you sure know how to make a guy feel good. I don't know why you are acting so freaked out anyways."

"It's not. Danny...it has nothing to do with you. I love you. What you don't understand is that I suffer from...gender identity disorder, and I am not exactly comfortable with anything of that variety being inside of me for any extended period of time. What we do together, that is fine, but the results from it should not be...there. I'm never going to be completely free of my suffering because of what I was born with...I just...I can't...I can't explain it to you, not really." Jesse was shaking, anxiety at a terrifying high. 

Danny buttoned his pants and rose to his feet, wrapping his long arms tightly around the younger man. While it was true that he would never understand what Jesse was going through, it would be impossible to put himself in the man's shoes, he was still capable of loving and supporting him through every obstacle and problem that he faced. And, he was going to do just that.

"I'm sorry that I got you worked up like that. I am sorry and I just want you to know that I love you and I am here for you, no matter what. We are a team."

Jesse took a deep breath. "Thank you, I guess I really needed that, but now I am going to actually go upstairs and take a shower, I'll see you and Becky in a bit."

"Alright, I'll let her know,"

"Thanks, babe," Jesse mumbled, never actually calling Danny that before, but he was pretty sure that he liked it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For people who don't know, Gender Identity Disorder or GID was what Gender Dysphoria was referred to before. And, so I don't sound like I might be an expert, I have no idea when they made the switch, I just know that there have been two different terms....
> 
> If anyone knows I'll take the input...


	11. In My Past There Is Only Misery, Bring Forth the Future Without Any Lies

"Are you paying attention at all?" Joey asked, snapping his fingers in front of Jesse's face, trying to break his daze. He was confident that his business partner had literally no idea what was actually going on.

Jesse grabbed Joey by the wrist, crushing his fingers with his spare hand. "Joseph, why on earth are you snapping your dirty fingers that close to my face?"

"Because you are zoning out over there, you haven't contributed one idea all morning,"

Jesse ran his hands over his face. Perhaps, he was a bit out of sorts. "Sorry, Joey, I can't think straight. I think I would make a better listener today."

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, for the most part, just have a lot going on, a lot on my mind. Especially, D.J, because no matter what I do I can't get through to her."

"Is this because today makes it officially three months, and she still isn't accepting what is going on between her father and her uncle?"

Jesse took his glasses off of his face, chewing on one end. That would be the reasoning...I can't get it out of my head. What if she hates me forever? It makes me wonder if my relationship with Danny is worth it."

"Are you in love with Danny?"

"Yes, of course, more than anything,"

"And, do you love D.J?"

"Is that even a question? I love all my nieces, they are such a big part of my life, practically my own children with as much as I have helped raise them."

"Then there is your answer. It is worth it, you love Danny, and your three nieces will love you no matter what, even if one of them is a little angry at you at the moment. I said she would come around, I still believe that will be the case."

"I still have hope...even when I can't rationalize it..."

"I'll step in if I have to,"

"You don't have to do anything, Joey,"

"Yes, I do, but I will only do something if I need to. You and Danny are my best friends, and you are great together, and I love the girls. I want all of you to be completely happy."

Without warning, Jesse pulled Joey into a warm embrace. "Thank you, Joey. I love you, so much, I really do."

"I love you, too, Jess,"

*

Jesse was hardly more than a pile of mush when he finally made it up to the bedroom he shared with Danny. He could not believe how exhausted he was as he crawled into bed, barely conscious. 

Danny rolled over, draping an arm over Jesse and pulling him close. "You're home late," He whispered, still half asleep.

"Yeah...and not even for a good reason. I got ditched by half of the band after the show so it took twice as long to break everything down and pack it up. That added with the extra added stress of planning to come out, again, to my father, it has me tired as hell."

"Probably doesn't help that we were up late last night, either," Danny said as he slid his fingers beneath Jesse's waistband.

Jesse moaned as soon as Danny made contact with his sensitive clit.

Danny moved his hand lower, continuing to stroke his thumb over the swollen clitoris, all the while running his fingers over Jesse's labia until he was able to slowly slide them inside. 

"You are already wet," Danny mumbled.

Jesse swatted Danny's hand away, reaching down to feel for himself. "Danny turn on the light...quickly please..."

Danny switched on the lamp that was on the table, examining his fingers under the light. "You're bleeding, why are you bleeding? Do you need a doctor?"

"Danny, breathe, it is just a little blood mixed with other fluids..."

"That is one thing you don't do, bleed like this. Don't you inject stuff into your thigh that prevents you from bleeding, like this?"

"Well, my hormone injections do a lot more than just stop me from bleeding. I wouldn't look like this if I wasn't taking them. This is probably stress induced if I had to guess. Terrible timing, but it makes the most sense. I'll have to go into my old room. I've still got some stuff left over from the last time, almost three...four years ago."

"Are you sure that you are going to be alright?"

"Yes...sure...it isn't that much. I will get over it."

Danny wrapped an arm around Jesse's shoulders. "I'm here for you, we can cuddle and tomorrow I'll make you breakfast in bed,"

"I love you, but I don't deserve you,"

"I love you, too, and yes you do,"

Jesse got out of bed, checking to make sure that he hadn't bled anywhere else. He cringed at the thought, but thankfully he didn't discover anything other than what had been on their hands. 

He rushed into his old room, that was in the process of becoming Stephanie's room again, rummaging through his dresser drawers in search for his leftover package.

"Uncle Jesse!?" Stephanie shouted, sitting straight up and startling the man. "What are you doing in here?"

"I am trying to find something that I need to go to sleep, I haven't needed it in a long time, but it should still be in here," He told the young girl, the one he hadn't been expecting to already be sleeping in his old bed.

"What is it?"

"Uh..." Jesse struggled with what to say now that the package was actually in his hand. "Just a cloth that I used to use to wash my face. They are disposable."

His response was stupid, yet there he was, saying it anyways.

"Oh, okay, goodnight, Uncle Jesse," The small girl said, laying back down. She fell asleep almost immediately, only seconds after she hit the pillow.

Jesse shook his head, smiling. Stephanie was in a class all her own.

He snapped out of it. He didn't need to stand there thinking about his niece. He had to get into the bathroom.

*

There still wasn't a lot of blood, but it was enough to cause a problem if left unattended. The amount was sitting somewhere between barely a concern and a large annoyance. It made him really think about the way his life was going. He needed to take it a day at a time, and he needed to try to eliminate the major stressors in his life. 

Perhaps, he also needed to have his hormones increased the next time that he went to the doctor.

He awkwardly placed the object he considered offensive into his underwear. He hated this, even if it wasn't nearly as bad as a normal one.

D.J busted into the bathroom a moment later, flipping the light on that Jesse had neglected to turn on for a number of reasons. Of course, he still should have locked the door.

Jesse quickly pulled his pants up, horrified. There hadn't been enough time for her to actually see anything, and he had been sitting in a way that mostly obscured everything, but it was all still embarrassing no matter how he looked at it. 

"Uncle Jesse, I'm sorry, but the door wasn't locked, the light wasn't on..." D.J half mumbled, horror definitely fueling the redness in her cheeks. "I just need to check something,"

"Are you okay? You look a little worn out. Do you need to talk? Well, if you will actually talk to me, that is."

"Uh...it is nothing...er...nothing that you would understand..."

"So, you are talking to me? Good, well then, I think you should try me, you never know what I might be able to help you with,"

D.J sat on the edge of the tub, looking down at her feet. "It is a woman problem,"

Jesse nodded. "Well, I am well versed in a lot of those. I know that I have told you a few things about my past, my scars, and because of those things, I am basically an expert, at all problems."

D.J chuckled. And, it was wonderful. It had been such a long time since Jesse had heard any kind of laugh from her of any kind, so this felt like a blessing.

"I'm serious, Deej, try me,"

"Okay," She took a deep breath. "I think that I am about to start my period. I have already had my first one, but I was really scared and I didn't tell anyone. I just borrowed stuff from Kimmy. Now, I don't know what I'm going to do. I couldn't tell dad."

Now Jesse was the one chuckling. "I see, well, you are going to need these," He told her as he tossed the remainder of the package toward her. "But we are probably going to need to go to the store to get some, preferably ones that are not as old."

D.J examined them. "Why did you have these?"

"Because, I started bleeding tonight, not a lot, just spotting, but I am not taking any chances,"

"Oh," She said, plainly trying to figure out what was actually happening.

"It is perfectly normal, usually. It will very from month to month, but normally it won't be too much to worry about."

"Yeah, I get all that, but..."

"Right, right, we haven't been talking all that much, so our connection hasn't been as strong. Remember when we talked about my scars? We used to talk about everything."

"Yeah,"

"You know that I have not always been...able to be your uncle...there was a time when I would have been your aunt if I hadn't realized that it was possible for me to be happy and confident in my own body..."

"That's what you said, in less words, that is what you always meant, even just a minute ago? You've always been so vague, I wasn't sure if I was allowed to ask for details." D.J sighed. "This is really weird. I mean, I guess it makes sense, you having...that instead. I don't know how to put it without using words I don't understand."

"I am sorry that I haven't told you all of this before, I probably should have, before Michelle could talk, you were always the one I vented to."

"It is okay. I miss that a lot. And, I was really hard on you and dad after our trip to Lake Tahoe, not that you couldn't have told me that you still...anyways, I am sorry for how I have been acting."

"I don't usually, I'm just stressed," He said, rubbing his hands over his face.

"Oh, well, I'm sorry still,"

"Come here, Deej, you know we have to hug it out,"

"Now, I have a serious question here, do I still call you Uncle Jesse? Or are we no longer on that good of terms?"

Jesse giggled in the most obnoxious of ways, shaking his head. "Well, do I still get to be your Uncle?"

"Yeah,"

"Then the answer is positively yes. You can still call me that, because no matter what I am never going to stop being your Uncle. I love you and your sisters. I know that everything around here is really strange, but it is what makes our family special."

Just like that he had won. The barrier had been broken down all because of the one fact about himself that he still hated. Regardless of everything else, he was pretty damn certain that Danny was going to be thrilled. 

Progress. 

Of course, there was still his father, but he was trying not to think about that right now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is such a mess, but I'mma clean it up in the next chapter...or...actually I'm going to make it way more messy because that is what I do. How do I know? I've already written the next chapter.


	12. Everywhere

"Did I forget to mention that I suddenly think this is a very, very bad idea?" Jesse announced to the entire kitchen as he finished chopping the onions in front of him.

Danny raised his eyebrows at his lover, a sense that it was possible he had been chopping the same onion for five minutes straight. "Jess, I know that you have been saying this for the past thirty minutes, but if you wanted to cancel dinner with your parents...coming to this conclusion should have happened a lot sooner."

Jesse groaned, only then realizing that he had narrowly missed hacking the tip of his finger clean off. "What if I tell them that I am sick when they get here?"

"You can't do that, because I don't want to have dinner with them by myself." Danny shuddered at the thought, mainly because he knew that Irene was aware of the real reasoning behind this dinner to some extent.

"You won't be alone, the girls and Joey will be here,"

"Not true," Joey stood up from his chair at the dining room table. "I'm leaving to meet up with Christine...Jess...you don't look so good...you are kinda pale..."

"He's right, Jesse, how are you feeling?" 

"Maybe I really am sick, I don't know, Danny, I..." He said, hands flat against the counter to keep himself stable. "...need to sit down."

Danny and Joey rushed to the man's side, leading him to the chair that Joey had just been sitting in.

"Your parents are going to be here any minutes, they are going to freak out if they see you like this,"

Jesse didn't speak. He didn't make eye contact with anyone. He was barely even capable of listening. His head was spinning. It was horrible.

Suddenly, he pushed both men out of the way and booked it upstairs as fast as his feet could take him. He rushed into the bathroom, body convulsing as he was forced to empty the contents of his stomach in the most unfortunately violent way.

Danny was outside the door in no time. His mind was already going at one million miles a minute, gears turning in attempt to figure out what was going on without heading into full worry mode.

When Jesse was able to move, he pulled his knees up against his chest, taking deep breaths. He had settled in on the idea that he was probably dying, and for whatever reason, that was completely fine.

Danny entered the bathroom, looking down at Jesse who was more than a little helpless in appearance. "Jesse, I think you need to see a doctor,"

Jesse just shook his head, not enough to make himself nauseous again, but enough to answer the question without actually opening his mouth.

Danny leaned down beside him. "I'm serious, Jesse,"

The taller man wasn't even finished saying Jesse's name before Jesse was hanging over the toilet once more. Although, he was willing to admit, that it was sort of soothing to have Danny's hand rubbing along his back. 

"I am worried about you,"

Jesse propped his head up with his arm, becoming increasingly aware of how dizzy he was the longer his head was upright. "I'm sure that I am fine, it is just a bug,"

"I might have believed that, if you had told me this two day ago, this is more than just some bug. There is something wrong. This is going on three days."

"How did you know?"

"You think I'm not going to notice you getting out of bed in the morning?"

Joey was leaning against the threshold, arms crossed. "If you were a woman everyone would think you were pregnant, by the way, your parents are here,"

Jesse and Danny stared at each other with wide eyes. The odds were so incredibly slim that it had never once been discussed. It would have changed the way things were approached, on all levels.

Danny mouthed 'is that even possible?' with his face turned away from Joey, it was the question they both had wanted to ask.

Joey didn't stay up there, oblivious to the situation. He went back downstairs, which provided the perfect opportunity for Danny and Jesse to properly begin freaking out. 

"What kind of symptoms have you been having, besides this?" Danny asked. 

"I'm exhausted all of the time, headaches constantly, heartburn that I assumed was linked to this, why?"

"We do have to explore every possibility. There could be something serious going on...or...maybe..."

"I swear to god, Daniel Ernest Tanner, if you say that word I will throw up on you,"

"I just think that we should discuss..."

"Don't say it!" Jesse put both of his hands up, a plea to stop Danny from continuing to talk.

"Jesse, if..."

The younger man held a finger up to stop Danny from talking. He was going to throw up again.

Danny moved so that he was beside Jesse, arm wrapped around him in an attempt at being slightly comforting.

"My...uterus should have suffered and died a long time ago...that could possibly be what's happening...or I'm actually dying..."

"Or you have defied the odds, or maybe I have, and you are..."

"No! Don't say the word."

"Okay," Danny sighed. "I won't say it, but will you at least consider your current predicament does seem to mirror that...a lot,"

Jesse took a deep breath. "Alright, the symptoms are a tiny bit similar, I will admit to that."

"Reminds me of Pam when she was that word you don't want me to say,"

"that makes things worse, why did you tell me that?"

"Was I not supposed to?"

"I am going to struggle through dinner with my parents, I think I can make it, but you, you need to go to the store. On your little run, I'd like some ginger ale, and every version of the test, every brand, that related to the word you are not going to say."

"Why would you want to take those if you don't think that is what is going on?"

"So it will shut you up on the matter. Now, head on out, I'll make something up until you get back,"

Michelle tiptoed into the bathroom. She sat down on the floor beside Danny, no one even turning to look at her when she joined them. 

Danny moved, about to stand up when he noticed his youngest daughter sitting beside him. "Michelle, what are you doing in here?"

"Joey said that Uncle Jesse was sick,"

"I'm not sick, I'm completely fine," Jesse grumbled, pulling himself to his feet slowly. He held his stomach for a moment. There was a very real possibility that he was going to collapse back down. He needed to be prepared for that to happen.

"Are you sure that you're not sick, Uncle Jesse, because you sure don't look good,"

"Of course, Shorty, would I lie to you?"

"I don't know, would you lie to me, Uncle Jesse?"

Danny laughed. He kissed Michelle on the top of the head before standing at full height. He leaned over to kiss Jesse, greeted by a hand to his lips instead. 

"Think about it, why would kissing me be a bad idea?"

Danny nodded, opting to kiss Jesse on the cheek. "I'll be back in a bit, don't have too much fun without me."

Jesse smiled weakly. None of this was going according to plan. Especially, because he still had to face his parents downstairs, particularly his father.

*

D.J had stepped in to finish cooking dinner on Joey's recommendation. So, by the time Jesse made it all the way back down into the kitchen the table was already set and she was carrying the main dish to the be sat down in the center. The family was mostly seated at said table, as well, leaving very little for Jesse to do. Which, he was thankful for.

He joined them without a word, and it was nice. He could handle it.

"Jesse! It is about time you got your tushy down here. You had your father and I worried about you." Irene told her son, immediately scooting closer to him.

Jesse licked his dry lips. "Sorry, I had to..." He swallowed back acid in his throat. The scent of cooked peppers had reawakened his nausea at full intensity. "...take care of something upstairs."

"Honey, you do not look good, you need to go to bed." She said, pressing the back of her palm against Jesse's forehead. "You are clammy."

"Ma, I am fine,"

"That's right, Irene, if _HE_ says that  _HE_ is fine, then _HE_ probably is." Nick scoffed, giving extra emphasis every time he used a male pronoun. 

"Nick, your son is ill, there is no need to act that way,"

"Ever consider he might be sick because of all that crap he puts in his body? Synthesized chemicals that are not there naturally."

"Dad..."

"I'm sorry, Jesse. You have always known how I feel about your lifestyle choices, but that doesn't change the fact that I love you. I always will, you're my kid. That is why you have to understand that I am looking out for you when I tell you that what you are taking can cause problems, look at bodybuilders. It could cause health problems, you don't know, there isn't any research on long term use. I didn't even know what all of this was until you started doing it."

"Where did dad go?" Stephanie asked when she sat down, gesturing towards the empty seat that was across from Jesse.

"He ran to the store, he will be back any minute," Jesse explained, rubbing his temples. He had already thought this was a bad idea, and with the added circumstances of his health he was sure of it. Now was probably a really bad time to tell his father that he was seeing Danny, and that it was pretty serious.

An awkward silence followed. There was an occasional comment here and there, but other than that it was quiet, at a disturbing level.

This was awful in every way.

"So, how is Rebecca? Did she find someone else after you stupidly broke up with that beautiful woman who actually wanted to be with you, knowing everything?" Nick asked. 

Jesse shook his head. He actually kind of wished that Becky had been invited to dinner. She could have been his rock. He needed to keep her around. 

Finally, Danny came home with a paper sack. Jesse shot up from the table, yanking the bag out of the other man's hands before heading upstairs into the bathroom again.

"Jesse, wait!" Danny called after him, but it was already too late. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've have gone back and forth on how I was going to present this chapter and the following. There was never a question of the outcome, but getting there was always up in the air. I will say that I have put a lot of thought into it, there will be people who don't agree with it, but that will happen no matter what the subject is. ---I have also researched the heck out of this, hours spent reading different articles and topics---and a good friend of mine assisted me when needed.


	13. Look Around At Madness, See Something Beautiful

Jesse took the tests, as many as humanly possible at that given moment, in that time frame. He sat them all on the sides of the sink, walking into the bedroom to wait.

He laid back on the bed, eyes closed, trying to remember a time when things were simpler. He couldn't. There really had never been a simple time in his life. And, the more time he spent with Danny, the more complicated things became.

Even if the results were positive, he wasn't sure if he could tell anyone. This sort of thing was not supposed to happen. He was a man and the entire concept of carrying a child was borderline disturbing to him. He couldn't even wrap his head around it, couldn't imagine seeing his body change like that in such a feminine way. It wasn't right, that biology could be going against him once again.

If for some reason it was actually happening, it was going to force him to tell people the truth. It was bad enough that he still had not thought of a decent way to explain his relationship with Danny to his parents, how was he going to explain that he had allowed this to happen?

He sat back up, lightheaded. It was settled. It was not time for this. He would find out the results, and take care of it the only way that he could see fit. He hated that it had come to that, but he didn't feel like he had any other choice.

The waiting was absolutely horrifying. He wasn't quite as sure of himself now. He laid back down.

He rolled over onto his stomach, burying his face into the pillows. For the most part they smelled like Danny, save for the hints of hair products and his own cologne. It was comforting, practically begging him to fall asleep.

It wasn't long before he had actually began to drift off, his entire body still convinced that he had somehow not gotten enough rest.

When Danny walked in Jesse was all, but snoring. He crawled into the bed beside him, watching him in such a peaceful state, the complete opposite of how he had been earlier.

He brushed a stray hair from Jesse's face. He couldn't help feeling incredibly blessed. Jesse was what he had always needed. He was so happy to be in love with such a beautiful, unbelievable man.

He kissed him on the forehead. He almost seemed fever pitch warm on contact.

Jesse opened his eyes. "How long was I out?"

"About thirty minutes, give or take. I figured I probably needed to check on you."

"Are my parents still here?"

"Yeah, they are still here. They are worried about you."

"I am sure that they are. I just don't feel like dealing with them right now."

"You might want to at least muster up the strength to go down and tell them that you haven't died from some strange hormone related ailment,"

Jesse curled up against Danny, the warmth of the other man's body a calming source of nourishment. "He must have continued to talk about it after I came upstairs,"

"You bet, he gave me quite the ear full, good thing I already knew about most of what he was saying."

"I would hope so, you have seen me naked,"

Danny pulled Jesse flush against him. "Have you checked on the tests yet?"

"Nope, kinda not feeling it right now. I think we should just lay like this for a while. My parents can wait."

"I love you, Jess,"

"I love you, too, Danny," Jesse whispered, kissing his beloved on the cheek.

They held onto each other, relaxing into the soothing silence. Everything seemed normal, if only for a moment.

"What the hell is this?!" Nick shouted, entering the bedroom.

"Nick! Stop!" Irene was a few feet behind him, unable to keep the pending disaster from becoming a reality.

Jesse and Danny immediately separated, sitting upright, mentally trying to prepare for whatever madness was about to spew from the elder Katsopolis man's mouth.

Nick turned towards Irene. "Did you know about this!?"

Irene glanced down at her feet. "Not exactly, I mean, a while back Jesse and I talked about him possibly becoming involved with Danny, but I don't know anymore beyond that."

"How could this happen!? For years you have wanted us to accept you as our son, wanted us to believe that you really were a man on the inside, and now I find you lying in a bed with your late sister's husband?" Nick asked his son, red faced. "And, Danny, who the hell do you think you are, you were married to one of my daughters, but that just wasn't enough for you, was it?"

Danny walked over to Nick, proudly standing taller than the grandfather of his children. There was a time when he was intimidated by the man, but now he was barely phased by his presence. Jesse brought out a confidence in him that he thought he would never have.

"You only had one daughter, and I loved her very much. She was my world. We had three beautiful girls together and not a day goes by that I do not miss her. What you are failing to realized is that you have an absolutely amazing son, and I love him very much, and it shouldn't matter who he loves, because that has nothing to do with his gender."

Jesse took a deep breath. He had to get a word into this conversation. Danny was not allowed to fight his battles for him. He needed to stand up to his father in the same way he had in the past, even if he still didn't understand.

"Listen, dad, I know this is hard for you to wrap your head around, and I get that, I really do, but I am really in love with Danny. I never even wanted to be with a man before him and I can't say that there is another man on this planet that I would even be attracted to. What we have is real, we are two men who care so very deeply for each other. We are a family. I couldn't be happier, I know that this is what I needed in my life."

"Exactly," Danny mumbled.

"Alright," Nick said with a nod. "I can learn to accept that. Some men do like other men. It is a little strange, but what am I going to do about it? You are my child, and I still love you no matter what, because I have to, or your mother will probably kill me."

The whole room laughed, leaving Jesse to wonder why he had been so worried in the first place. It was possible for a family to actually love and accept each other, no matter what, and that gave him hope.

Michelle walked out of the bathroom with a plain stick in her hand, off white in color, and very obviously, at least to Jesse, as one of the objects that he had reluctantly peed on to prove he wasn't possibly living with a still functioning uterus. The sight of it in her hand made his heart rate quicken, equal parts nervous and worried. Not only would he learn the news, but so would everyone else, which would have been fine, except for the fact that they had just learned of one bombshell of excitement. An, this one would take a lot more explaining, no matter what the results were.

"I found this in the bathroom, what is it?" The four-year-old asked, holding it up for everyone to see. "It has lines on it,"

"Lines? Lines? How many?" Jesse asked, even though he knew the answer. Usually, there was only one type of result that came with multiple lines.

"Two,"

Jesse gulped rather loudly. "Can I please see it?"

"Only if you tell me what it is for,"

"Michelle, give your Uncle Jesse the...stick...please," Danny was in a similar state to Jesse, wanting nothing more than to see it up close.

Michelle huffed, handing it over. She crossed her arms and pouted, but this time no one was focused on her. This was much more important. 

"Oh my god," Jesse spit out, voice weak as he felt like he was definitely going to faint.

"That's not really what I think it is, is it?" Irene asked.

Danny grabbed the test from Jesse to examine it himself. "According to this, Jess, we are..."

"Don't say it!"

"Jess..."

He looked at the test once more, just to be sure, holding onto it for dear life. "I'm...I'm..."

Irene ripped the damn thing from Jesse's grasp. "You're pregnant!!?!?!"

"That is crazy! Tell her that is crazy!" Nick shouted in disbelief.

Michelle was beaming, despite not really understanding what was going on. "Way to go, Uncle Jesse!"

Jesse blacked out. He simply could not take any other news, and there was no way he could hear those words again.

This was the last thing that anyone was expecting, for Jesse to ever actually be expecting.


	14. A New Kind of Faith

"Hey," Danny muttered, looking up at Jesse from where he had been awkwardly laying, waiting for the younger man to wake up.

"Hi," He replied, groggily, rubbing his eyes.

"I was wondering when you were going to join the land of the living," Danny said, smiling. "Clearly, you were mentally and physically exhausted, but I guess that makes sense,"

"Are you home from work? Did I really sleep that long?"

Danny adjusted his tie. "Yup. Becky was asking if you were okay, though that is possibly my fault because I told her how long you had been asleep."

"I had a really weird dream, my gender dysphoria is getting bad again. It all kept replaying in my head over and over, again and again. I was somehow pregnant, I mean, could you even imagine such a thing?"

Danny furrowed his brow. "Sweetheart, I don't exactly know how to say this without sending you into shock, but that dream you had did actually happen. You are pregnant, you took more than one test, all were positive. It was especially interesting when our lovely little Michelle found the tests so that your parents could share the joy of our completely unexpected news, er, well, mostly unexpected news. The next conversation we have with them is going to be intriguing to say the least."

Jesse sat up, probably a little too fast, and the way his head felt left him very aware of it. "No, there is just absolutely no way. How did this happen? Well, I know how it happened, but how did it happen to us? I don't ovulate and we are incredibly careful."

"Not careful enough, obviously, but it will be okay,"

Jesse was on the verge of a mental breakdown, and the only thing keeping him from hyperventilating was Danny's hand resting on his arm. "I...I...what...what do we do? How do we explain this? There is no discreet way to handle this without medical intervention, is there? I'm going to go to the doctors and get laughed out of the office. Oh my god, this has to be a mistake. Danny, please tell me this is a joke."

"You can try to make sense of it however you'd like, but the truth is that we are having a baby and it is an amazing thing," Danny told him in the calmest tone possible.

"I can't have a baby, men don't have babies,"

"Well, you are not just any regular man, you're mine, and like it or not, we are having a baby." Danny beamed, hand drifting down to rest on the part of Jesse's stomach that was exposed by his shirt sliding up. "I could not be happier."

Jesse took a deep breath. He ran one hand through his hair while the other laid overtop of Danny's. This was not supposed to be this way, he was never supposed to go through this. He really had no idea how he was actually going to deal with it, but he knew that he would find a way, all for Danny, and for the life that they had somehow created.

_What a terrifying, beautiful, unholy mess this all was?_

"We are going to have a lot of work to do, I have to find a doctor, I obviously can't take my shots anymore, there is so much to think about, so many questions that need to be answered. How are we going to explain this to the girls? Michelle probably doesn't understand that this kid is her half brother or sister. Us being together was already causing problems, this just makes things complicated."

"Our entire relationship was built on complicated, what is one more thing?"

"I guess you're right, babe...damn...I cannot believe how much this changes things..." He drifted off a little. "...I don't know if I am okay with this...I don't know if I am going to make it..."

"Everything has changed for the better, I love you and our baby,"

"I love you, too,"

*

The days that followed only seemed to raise Jesse's concerns. His nerves were shot. In between the newly identified morning sickness, the exhaustion, and the inability to handle the smell of the spinach that Joey had decided to eat with his breakfast almost every morning he was very borderline disturbed. No matter what he did, he still could not entirely wrap his head around what was going on. it was just too surreal.

A part of him that he had brought this all upon himself. He was the one who actively pursued an intimate relationship with another man. He was the one who assumed that it was impossible for him to get pregnant after all of these years. He was also the one who didn't consider any contraceptives for any health reasons. It wasn't that these were reasons that were entirely his fault, Danny did play a part in all of it, but he should have known better and enforced better care of the situation.

Aside from not taking his testosterone injections, he hadn't done anything else to prepare. He knew that he needed to see a doctor, but the whole concept was a little hard for him to get used to.

He stood in the mirror sideways with his shirt pulled up to his chest. He tried to imagine himself with a big, round pregnant belly, but the thought almost destroyed him with the crippling anxiety that was already looming over him. Not passing, not being able to be himself, it was killing him.

It wasn't his body anymore.

"Are you ready? The movie starts in an hour." Danny asked, looking into the room.

Jesse hurriedly pulled his shirt down, turning to face Danny with his half-hearted smile plastered on his face. "Yeah, yeah, of course,"

"What were you doing? Your face is all red."

"Wondering what I am going to look like in a few months,"

Danny wrapped his arms around the younger man, pulling him as close as possible. "You will look amazing, like you always do,"

"Remember you said that when I am waddling around and look like an angry hillbilly with a beer gut,"

"Nonsense, you are way too gorgeous to look like a hillbilly, ever," Danny assured him, kissing him on the cheek.

Jesse smiled. "Are you sure that tonight is the night we tell everything? Is the timing right?"

"Absolutely, besides, any longer and whatever strange agreement you had with Michelle to keep her quiet expires,"

"Bribing her works both ways, surprisingly, when you want to know something and when you want her to keep her little mouth shut. It is actually pretty convenient."

They held onto each other, breathing each other in. No matter what happened in the upcoming days ahead, at least their love would be strong. 

"I am the luckiest man in the entire world," Danny whispered, hands moving along Jesse's back, stopping at the hem of his shirt, lifting it up slightly.

Jesse lifted his head off of Danny's chest. "What are you doing, Daniel?"

"I think that I am trying to pull your shirt up, and off,"

"I thought that we needed to leave soon, get to that movie,"

Danny slid his hands up enough to completely remove Jesse's shirt, although Jesse wasn't fighting it, if anything he was assisting it. He didn't need to say another word, his intentions were explicitly clear. 

He quickly undid Jesse's pants, sliding them over his hips, allowing them to drop to the floor. The underwear was next. 

Danny was staring at Jesse's naked body in absolute amazement. He had obviously seen him like this before, but somehow this time was a bit different. This was wonderful, all the thoughts running through his head. He had finally felt like he had won. It hadn't been his intention to change their plans, but now all he wanted was to spend the day in bed with the man that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

"The...movie...what about the movie?" Jesse tried to concentrate, but the things that he was feeling because of Danny's hands had his mind just about anywhere, but the movie. Maybe not literally, but there was some sort of disconnect as he desperately separated everything into different parts of his brain. 

Danny's lips trailed down Jesse's neck, down his chest. His hands that had been secure on his hips occupied themselves with other things, one cupping the smaller man's pert ass, and the other making sweet contact with his clit.

Jesse tipped his head back as a moan escaped past his lips. He steadied himself as his knees weakened. His breath itched and he broke out into a shimmering sweat. Clearly, he was too far gone to keep protesting. It needed to happen.

"Take off your clothes," He mumbled, eyes locked onto Danny's as the man continued to torture him with his long, talented fingers.

"As you wish," Danny whispered, voice soaked in seductive undertones, vibrating right through Jesse.

Danny stripped down, never taking his eyes off of Jesse's perfect, naked frame. He was completely entranced, enticed by every movement that he made.

As soon as he had all of his clothes off, he yanked Jesse back into a tight embrace. Their lips collided in passion. 

He fell back onto the bed with Jesse on top of him. They were a tangled mess of limbs sharing body heat. The kisses continued intensifying with every passing moment.

Danny maneuvered Jesse to just where he wanted. He licked his lips, eyebrow raised in such a way. He definitely had Jesse anticipating what was going to happen next.

"Get up here,"

Jesse sat upright, squeezing his thighs around Danny's hips, head cocked to the side. "What?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" Danny asked the man, tongue wetting his lips in a way that was almost sinful.

Jesse bit his bottom lip. They had never done this before, if he was reading the signs correctly, and it stupidly made him nervous. He wasn't sure if he was even comfortable with it happening.

"Is something wrong?" Danny asked.

"No, I...we have never...are you sure you want to do this?"

Danny nodded. "Of course, now get up here,"

Jesse accepted those words. He was going to do it. He was going to take it as a challenge. He crawled up the length of Danny's torso, fighting insecurities the entire way. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be time to deal with issues of the brain and body later...


	15. Can't You See its Not Enough?

Finally, he was exactly where Danny wanted him. And, he became increasingly aware of this when the man's tongue began lapping at him, alternating between fucking his tongue inside of his warm, wet entrance and sucking on his throbbing clit.

He couldn't resist rocking his hips, just a little. Danny's tongue explored further, tasting what was uniquely Jesse, and enjoying every second of it. 

There was nothing for leverage. Jesse couldn't keep himself upright, and his moaning was so loud that anyone in the house would have been able to hear him. 

Danny began rubbing his thumb along Jesse's clit. He continued to suck and lick all of the sensitive bits, driving him completely mad.

"Danny, I'm gonna...ahh...ah...Danny!" Jesse shouted, entire body on fire, tingle shooting up and down his spine.

Without warning, Danny performed a maneuver at an almost magical speed. Jesse was on his back, eyes wide, staring up at Danny with a look of shock. He wasn't used to this, he was always on top, always.

There was wickedness in the older man's brown eyes. Jesse's breath hitched. He was in for it, he could feel it in the weight of Danny's gaze.

Danny thrust his index and middle finger inside of Jesse, thumb creating the same delicious friction on him once more. It didn't take long for Jesse to be on the edge of release again, chest heaving as moans escaped from his lips interchanging it with Danny's full name.

"Harder!" Jesse shouted, fists balled up into the sheets.

Danny listened. He thrusted his fingers in harder, deeper, curling them up in just the right spot. "Come for me, Jesse,"

The younger man let go. His release took over his entire body, hips bucking upward as his back arched. He let out a loud cry, pleasure reaching its peak in a white hot explosion.

When his breathing returned to normal and his legs were no longer trembling he propped himself up on his elbows.

"Daniel Tanner, you are a monster," He mumbled, taking a moment to wipe the sweat off of his forehead.

Danny pulled himself up to Jesse's level, catching him in a kiss. "It is funny that you say that,"

"Why?"

"Because I am not done yet," He laughed, licking his lips.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah,"

"Hmm...I wonder how you are going to top that,"

"Like this," Danny told him very blankly, he grabbed Jesse's weak legs and spread them apart, nestling in between his thighs.

He reached down and took his cock in his hand, stroking it back to full stiffness. He rubbed the head against Jesse's still swollen clitoris, eliciting the sexiest little sound from him as he adjusted to being slightly over sensitive.

He thrust his hard cock into Jesse. Once again the younger man was moaning uncontrollably, the continued torture about to make him unravel.

There was no way that they were going to make it to the movie.

*

A more confident couple walked into the restaurant with the girls. They were seated towards the back, a mostly private, large booth that was only given to them because the host was a fan of Wake Up, San Francisco.

They ordered their meals. There was moderate talk among themselves, but nothing too serious. They were waiting for the heavy stuff.

Jesse waved the waiter over when the girls were almost done eating. He ordered them each their favorite dessert, trying not to seem too suspicious.

When the tiramisu was sat down in front of D.J a few moments later things began to get interesting. "Alright, alright, what is going on?"

Danny looked his eldest daughter in the eyes. "There is nothing going on, why would you think that there was something going on?"

"The dessert and the way that you are acting, you guys are about to tell us something, I can tell,"

Jesse glanced over at Danny. "Maybe, that is our sign, our way to start this conversation,"

"And you tried to tell me that there wasn't anything going on, now spill, you two," D.J giggled, feeling awfully high and mighty for realizing that this was no normal outing.

Jesse cleared his throat. "Well, you all know that your dad and I love each other very much, right?"

"Of course," D.J said, smiling.

"As it turns out...we are going to be having a baby together, you will be getting a half brother or sister, providing that everything goes well." Danny explained in the calmest tone possible.

"How?" Stephanie asked in disbelief. "How are the two of you having a baby? Boys can't have babies. Are you adopting a baby? My friend Rachel is adopted, she is from Mexico."

"No, Uncle Jesse is going to have the baby, duh," Michelle said, despite not really understanding what she had actually said.

Stephanie's lips parted as if she was going to speak, but no words came out. She was confused and therefore speechless, a rarity with her, although she had every right to be.

"This is so weird. Like so weird. I mean, congratulations, I am really happy for you if this is what you want. But, it is still so weird, not that I mind more siblings, but this one will also be my cousin. It is kind of strange. Uh...did I mention this was weird." D.J rambled, like her father.

"You might have said it a few times, yes," Danny chuckled.

Jesse placed a hand on his lower abdomen. "It is weird. It is okay to think that. You are going to have to be the rock in all of this, the bridge between your dad and I, and Stephanie and Michelle. We have to stand as a united front because the next eight or nine months are going to be difficult, especially because of the way that people who don't understand will look at us."

"I am still trying to figure out how two men can have a baby," Stephanie grumbled, rattling her brain.

"Is it a girl baby or a boy baby?" Michelle asked.

Danny smiled, loving how wonderfully innocent his youngest daughter still was. "We don't know yet, it is too early to find out,"

"Yeah, Sport, right now the baby is too small to see if it is a boy or a girl, and the baby just needs to focus on growing, but I promise, we will let you know as soon as we know."

"You got it, dude!"

"How did this happen?" Stephanie asked again, becoming a little irritated because she wasn't getting the answers she desperately needed in order to stop having a mild freak out.

"I will explain it later," D.J told her little sister, knowing full well that accepting the responsibility of breaking the ice for Jesse to tell the young girl about his past was going to promise an incredibly long, strange conversation.

Jesse and Danny held hands under the table where no one could see. Step by step, they were going to get through this.  


	16. Endure, My Love, For We Will Be One

"You cannot be serious,"

"Why would I lie about this?" The woman asked, tapping her pen against her clipboard. "Is it too hard for you to wrap your head around, because I can give you a moment,"

"No, no, I'll be fine, I just wasn't expecting to hear news like that. It has taken me this long to accept that this was all real, and then you tell me that."

"It is okay,"

"That is what you keep telling me,"

"Having twins is not that much different than having one baby..."

"Not much different? Have you had twins before?" Jesse asked the woman, cutting her off.

"No, I haven't, but I can assure you that I have delivered many sets of twins successfully,"

"Yeah, well, they were not coming out of your vagina, so I am really not sure how you can say that with such certainty," Jesse groaned. "Why is this happening to me?"

Becky grabbed Jesse's hand. "Fate is a mysterious path we all walk down. Do you honestly think I ever imagined that I would be in this office with my pregnant ex-boyfriend because he didn't want to bring his lover, lest the man attract too much attention?"

Jesse shook his head. "Obviously, the answer is no, but I am really glad that you are here. It means a lot and made me feel less awkward in the waiting room."

"What are you going to tell Danny?" 

"Surprise? We are in a bigger predicament than we originally thought? I don't even know."

"Oh, Jess, you know he is going to be over the moon about this. He can already barely contain himself, believe me, I know, I have to work with him,"

Jesse laughed lightly. The doctor was one that he had known since before his transition, so he hadn't felt the need to conceal anything that he was feeling or himself, for that matter. This entire situation was strange, no matter how he looked at it, so it was nice to have at least one more ally. 

"I fell in love with the cleanest, loveliest, most excitable man in all of San Francisco."

"I would like to run a few more tests, this pregnancy is progressing normally, but there is no data on the effects of testosterone injections on a fetus, even though you have ceased them. The risk of masculinization is also going to be a possibility. I want to cover all of my bases to ensure that everything goes smoothly for this interesting occurrence." 

Jesse sighed. It was going to be a long day.

*

No one was home when Jesse finally made it back. He was already exhausted, and it was not even afternoon yet. He was told that all of these insane symptoms were normal, but that didn't make things any better.

He struggled to make it back into the living room after he did a few things around the house. He threw his body down onto the sofa, yawning almost the moment that his head hit the pillow.

The time and the million and one things that were on his mind had him fighting sleep. He pulled his shirt up a little, running his hands over his abdomen. He figured that he was imagining things, but he swore that it felt different. The sensation was practically cringe worthy, leaving him with the same sense of dread that tended to wash over him with these kind of things. It made him question his ability to do this, feeling helpless.

He turned his attention to the box of cookies he had brought with him. At least, they would provide some comfort while Danny was away. Besides, he had been craving oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for days, about as much as he had been craving egg rolls. The cookies were much more convenient.

Just as he was beginning to drift off, Joey came home, big goofy smile on his face. "Jess, I've got great news,"

Jesse sat up slowly, just a little, groaning rather loudly. "Yes, what is it?" He asked with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

"Did you seriously eat my whole box of cookies?"

Jesse shook the box, causing the few broken pieces to rattle around inside. "Yeah, sorry, Joey, I'll buy you more when I run to the store later,"

"It kinda looks like you've eaten more than just one box of cookies there, Jess, but I guess that is better than you throwing up all the time."

Jesse scrunched up his nose. His eyes drifted down to his stomach, there was definitely a bit of roundness and bloat to his abdomen, which made sense to him now.

He looked back at his friend, lightly placing a hand on his belly. Perhaps, it was time to fill him in on his past so that he would better understand the future. Obviously, it wouldn't be long before it was not remotely possible for him to conceal his weight gain as overeating.

"Hey, uh, Joseph, would you like to go out for a bit? I feel like we don't really do anything fun together anymore. It has been that way for a while now. Let's go somewhere. We could even get those cookies...better ones...from a bakery...with peanut butter..."

Joey cocked his head to the side. "We can go somewhere if you want, but I am pretty sure that you are cut off from baked goods. You were less obsessed with your vice when you were a wino. Maybe, you should switch back to that, or try to find a cure for the addiction."

"I can't...I've given it up," Jesse sighed. "For at least the next six or seven months,"

"That is an odd amount of time,"

 Jesse sat completely upright, making room for Joey, patting the cushion beside him. "We need to talk,"

Joey sat down beside him, strange expression on his face. "Okay,"

"Do you remember that woman that I was friends with when I first moved into this house, Amber?"

"Of course, she was beautiful and tall and had that wonderful rasp in her voice, what does this have to do with anything?"

"Good, good. I'll explain. Well, Amber lives in New York now, and she had just recently gotten in touch with me. Do you know why?"

"No, but I imagine that you are going to eventually tell me,"

"Amber's real name was Michael when she was born. She was not born female, but always believed that she really was supposed to be a woman. When she was finally able to, she transitioned, finally becoming her true self. She has been happier ever since, it hasn't been perfect by any means, but she has made it work."

"Amber is a man!? And, you just let me gush about how hot he was?"

"Amber is a woman. That's not the point, anyways, the condition is called Gender Identity Disorder and I also happen to be suffering through it, albeit in a slightly different ways," Jesse continued to explain, rather terribly. "I'm different than most guys."

"Are you telling me that you want to become a woman? Man, Jess, you have a lot going on in that head of yours."

"No, I do not want to be a woman. And, I have to have that much going on in my head because there is usually nothing going on in yours."

"Then what are you saying?"

Jesse got up, grabbing a picture frame off of the mantle. He pulled the back off and removed the photo that had been shoved in behind the picture of D.J. The writing was pretty faded, but he could still make most of it out. The words were not all that important, the date and the worn image itself were.

He handed the photograph to Joey. "Look at this kid,"

Joey studied it for a moment, carefully examining it. "This little girl looks a lot...like a tiny you with pigtails, quite a little tomboy."

"Flip it over,"

"Jessie Marie's fourth birthday. Jessie Marie? Is this you? Why do you have pigtails? Your middle name is Marie?" Joey shot off rapid fire questions, leaving Jesse laughing, wondering when his best friend was going to connect the dots. 

"That little girl is actually a little girl, on the outside. Jessica Marie Katsopolis. That is my birth name. And, those pigtails were a struggle, I screamed the entire time that my mom spent trying to do my hair when I would have rather cut it all off. It might sound kind of crazy, but I think that was when I really knew. I was young, but I knew that something was wrong."

"Jessica...you...you were...you are...what are you?"

"A man who was assigned female at birth. My name is Jesse Hermes Katsopolis. I am your friend, we have known each other for a very long time. I never knew how to tell you this before, but I have always wanted to. I hope that you can find it in your heart to understand why I've held back. I care so much about our friendship, and most of the time I was too afraid to risk it. I hope that this doesn't ruin it."

Joey nodded, taking it all in. He was going to need some time to process, but for the most part he thought that he was grasping exactly what Jesse was saying. His curiosity was through the roof, however. 

"Does Danny know?" Joey blurted out.

Jesse squinted at him. "I know that you don't like to think about it, but we share a room and we have seen each other naked before. We are a sexually active couple."

The stand up comedian stared at Jesse, still full of questions. "That's why you have those scars on your chest, because of your breasts? Do you have a penis? How does it work? How do they do that? How..."

Jesse put a hand up. "Joseph, Joseph, listen, I am okay with telling you certain things and I get why you are asking what you are asking, but some topics are a little sensitive for me, like my genitals. What is between my legs is okay a concern of Danny and I, but I'm not a rich man, so I am sure that you can draw your own conclusions. But, before we get too deep into everything, there was a reason I brought this up."

"Oh, right, sorry," Joey took a deep breath. "Go on, go on,"

"Give me your hand,"

"What are you going to do to me? Should I be trusting you right now?"

"Just give me your damn hand,"

Joey reluctantly held his hand out for Jesse. The younger man splayed his friend's hand against his abdomen. "Danny and I are having a baby...er...well...babies."

"Babies? You are actually pregnant? I thought that Michelle was just playing some strange game. Dang. How many, exactly?"

"Two, just found out today,"

"Wow. This is so...surreal. I must be dreaming. I ate too many hot pickles."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMING SOON: JOEY'S NEWS


	17. They Will Call Us Mad

"You're not, I promise, it was weird for me too. I didn't think it was possible, but here we are. I am having twins."

"At least your weight gain and weird mood swings make more sense now...pregnant...my friend, Jesse Katsopolis is a pregnant man...wow."

"Yup," Jesse smiled. "Go figure, right?"

"Are you sure this isn't me dreaming?"

"Believe me, this isn't the kind of thing that I would take lightly. I never wanted to get pregnant."

"Doesn't sound like you are enjoying this very much,"

"I don't. This feels like I am having an out of body experience. I am slowly beginning to accept it a little more each day. The end result will be good, getting there will be the battle."

"Well, I am here for you if you need anything, always. I know that I have no experience with this sort of thing, but I'll try to help all that I can."

Jesse laughed, leaning back in attempt to get more comfortable. "Good, because you are going to be the twins' godfather,"

"Wow, that's an honor. Thanks, Jess! Today just keeps getting more and more interesting."

"Wait, that's right, you had news. I just completely brushed you off, that was so rude of me. What was your news?"

"I have a new job. On television. I am going to be taking over the Ranger Roy Show. I will be Ranger Joe."

"That's great! That's amazing! That job is perfect for you!" Jesse shouted, pulling Joey into a hug.

"I know. Today is a good day. Our lives are looking up, Jess."

"That's what people keep telling me,"

*

"Joey just hugged me and congratulated me on our baby, said he couldn't wait to meet him or her in, and this is where I thought it got interesting, six or seven months. Pregnancies usually last about nine months, we just found out a few weeks ago. Perhaps, you would like to explain?" Danny asked, staring at Jesse as the man wiped the same piece of chrome on his Harley that he couldn't ride anymore.

Jesse glanced up at him for a moment before turning back to polishing his bike. "I went to the doctors with Becky,"

"We will talk about how you didn't tell me about the appointment later, I still want to know why he said 'six or seven' months instead of eight or nine?"

"Because I am a little over two and half months along, as it turns out. My doctor thinks some of my symptoms were delayed because of the hormone injections. So, we got pregnant during a close call rather than when I previously thought."

"Oh, I see, well, that's okay, just means we have a little less time to plan, but we will be fine. Everything is fine."

"There is one more thing, you might want to make sure that you are sitting down for this one."

Danny leaned against his car, opting for the closest object available for support. "Alright, I'm listening,"

"We are having twins, two babies,"

"Twins? We are having twins?" Danny took a deep breath, trying not to faint. "We are having twins?"

"Yeah, and to be honest I am really surprised that Joey didn't tell you that part,"

Danny thought about that for a moment, Jesse was right. "Well, you have a point there. We are having twins. I never even thought I would be having another kid, let alone two."

"I'm blaming you, just so you are aware, my love, and I will continue to do so until it can be proven otherwise."

"How endearing?"

Jesse walked over to Danny, wrapping his arms around the taller man's waist, resting his head on his chest. "Despite everything that is going on, despite the fact that my body and what is happening to it right now repulses me, I am kind of excited to meet them. I already love them, because they are equal parts of you and me, which seems really crazy to think about for me, but it is also amazing. It is crazy to think that I am going to be a parent."

"You are definitely taking this better than before, what changed? You seem more at ease with everything."

"I think it might be because I fell in love with them when I heard their heartbeats,"

"I still cannot believe you let me miss that. I am going to your next appointment, no matter what."

Jesse reached into his back pocket and pulled out the sonogram picture, handing it to Danny. "Could this make up for it, just a little?"

Danny was beaming when he looked down at the image in his hand. There they both were, small and innocent, and perfect.

"It does make up for it, a little, oh my...Jess, we are having twins,"

"I know, I know, I think I have repeated it about a thousand times more and it still comes as a shock,"

"It is a good shock,"

Jesse kissed Danny, just a simple peck on the cheek. "I love you,"

"I love you, too, and I love the twins. When can we find out the gender? It has been a while, I can't remember."

"They do not need to be gendered until after they are born. We can keep it neutral, nothing too blue or too pink. It is easier that way and I feel better about it."

"I think that we need to celebrate," Danny said as he scooped Jesse up into his arms, surprising him with his strength. "Wanna go upstairs?"

"Sure, if you don't mind me taking a nap when we get there,"

Danny rolled his eyes, not responding further as he headed toward their bedroom. 

*

With the realization that there was currently not enough room for everyone to sleep in the main part of the house. Arrangements were made to shuffle everyone around again. D.J bartered, and was given first pick of Michelle's soon-to-be old room, while it was decided that Stephanie and Michelle would room together in the biggest of the girls' bedrooms.

Jesse officially made the effort to move the last of his things into Danny's room, cementing the fact that they planned to be a long term couple. It just left the attic and his old bedroom empty, one would be the nursery, the other Joey's new room.

From there, the choices were obvious. Jesse's old room would be converted into a nursery for the twins, while the attic would be transformed into an apartment for Joey. This way the twins would be close to Jesse and Danny, and Joey would get some much needed and deserved independence.

Obviously, all of the equipment that was in the attic would be moved into the basement, successfully creating a mini studio for any future projects. Jesse figured he was going to become a recluse at some point in the near future, perhaps it was high time he wrote a decent new song.

Everything was finally running smoothly. Days turned into weeks and the atmosphere of the house began to set it quite a bit differently.

Jesse's slightly protruding abdomen grew to be a much rounder, baby bump. He carried high, effectively dashing most of his hopes that he might be able to pass it off as normal weight gain.

Every pound, despite it being a sight of a healthily progressing pregnancy, made him just a little more angry. He had to keep constantly reminding himself that it was all for a good cause and that it was going to work out in the end, but that was easier said than done.

It often left him horrified, regardless.

"Hey, can you make popcorn?" Jesse asked Danny, hands resting on his belly. At five months, he had already been reduced to over sized t-shirts. He still blamed Danny.

"Are you sure? It is ten in the morning?"

"Look at me, do you honestly think I would say such a thing if I wasn't sure? I'm pregnant, and very aware of the fact that I'm pregnant, and all that I want is popcorn."

Danny really didn't know how to respond. It was probably best that he just got up and made the damn popcorn without saying anything.

While her father was in the kitchen, D.J took the opportunity to sneak in a private conversation with her uncle.

"I haven't even heard you make a sound and I can already tell that what you are about to say is going to pit me in the middle of something. Your facial expressions are as easy to read as your father's."

"Really? Maybe I should try harder."

Jesse laughed. "Or just spit it out because I already know I am not going to like this?"

"I really want to bring my friends over, I haven't been able to invite Kimmy over in a while and there is this guy named Steve that I really like. I know that we all agreed that there would have to be minimal, limited visitors until you have the twins, but Kimmy is our neighbor..."

TO BE CONTINUED... 


	18. Don't Feel Quite Right

Jesse cut her off. "Ask yourself this question: can the people you want to bring into the house handle what is going on? Can they know my condition, and manage to keep quiet? Can you handle lying to them, if they won't be able to keep it to themselves? It is really important that I am not outed, Deej."

"How is this fair? You are my Uncle, who could have ever predicted that you would end up getting pregnant?"

"D.J, perhaps, there is a way around this, without outing me to your friends at all,"

"What did you have in mind?"

"I know I am big, I'm having twins, but I might still be able to play this off as weight gain, wear baggy clothing. No offense, but kimmy is not the brightest and Steve...well..."

"I understand completely, but don't be surprised if Kimmy makes a comment about your baby bump shaped weight gain, you know how she is,"

"I have plenty of insults for Gibbler, pent up insults that I've been dying to use,"

Danny walked back into the room with a big bowl of popcorn, tossing a handful in his mouth before sitting down. "Hey, D.J, what's up?"

"Kimmy is coming over," D.J told her father with a big smile on his face.

Danny cocked his head to the side. "Kimmy is coming over? I thought that we decided it wasn't a good idea until the twins were born."

"I did, too, but Uncle Jesse said it would be okay. He's going to wear baggy clothes, try to stand behind things, keep attention off of it."

Jesse grabbed the bowl of popcorn. "Are you really under the impression that I am going to awkwardly stand behind pieces of furniture like people do in tv shows when they are trying to hide that they are pregnant?"

"Kinda..."

"D.J, how can you expect your Uncle to do that just so Kimmy can come over?" Danny asked.

"My Uncle is regnant with my half siblings, even if I did tell anyone, they wouldn't believe me. There isn't anyone I know who has gone through this. The least I can ask for is Kimmy."

Danny turned his head toward Jesse. "And here I thought we still had at least four months without Gibbler,"

"Believe me, I thought so, too," Jesse laughed.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" D.J shouted, hugging her father and her uncle before running up the stairs.

"You sure this is a good idea?" Danny asked once his daughter was out of earshot.

"No, I'm not, but I also know that eventually someone is going to question why I am locking myself in the house. My band, my friends...most of my family already knows thanks to Michelle, I don't plan on telling everyone that we are actually expecting, but in that same right I can't pretend that they don't exist until the twins are born....does that make sense?"

"As long as you are going into this with a positive attitude I will be behind you every step of the way, just like I have been, I always will," Danny said as he wrapped his arm around Jesse, leaning his head on his shoulder.

"I wouldn't exactly call it a positive attitude, maybe a neutral one,"

"Neutral?"

"Danny, all of my life I have been lying. When I was little I lied about the fact that I knew I liked girls, when I was a teenager it was all about my gender identity, I've lied to my friends about my sex life because they think I am biologically male, and now I am lying to the world, telling them I am sick when that really just isn't the case. By some miracle, we are having twins, and for the first time, I can actually say that I am sort of happy that it happened, I am dealing with this pregnancy the best way that I can, I am making it through and surviving because of you. I am going to stop lying, for the most part, because I have realized that we only have one life and if we don't spend it with the people who love us unconditionally for who we really are, then they just are not worth it."

"What does this have to do with Kimmy coming over? This is way deeper than that."

"She is my test subject. I need to know if it is even possible for me to handle contact with the outside world while I look like this. Day one. This is day one."

Danny chuckled. "You are so incredible, I love you,"

"I love you, too, Danny, gosh...I feel like I am forgetting to tell you something..."

"Like what?"

There was a knock at the front door. Jesse gestured for Danny to greet whoever it was on the other side, which was the exact moment that it hit him.

"Wendy! And Monkey!?" Danny shouted, mostly excitedly. 

"Oh, that's right, I forgot to tell you that your sister was back in San Francisco to visit." Jesse laughed, wondering how he could have let something that important slip his mind and then proceed to not prepare for it.

Wendy was aware of Danny's relationship with Jesse, because of the information she got from his now estranged mother, but there was no way for her to be prepared for something like Jesse being with child.

It was incredibly possible that Kimmy, Wendy, and the rest of the world were about to become acquainted with a transgender man named Jesse Katsopolis. It was going to be very interesting.

*

"How do I put this lightly, without confusing you further?" Danny asked his wide eyed sister.

"You could start by telling me that you aren't serious, that might just help, a lot," 

"Why is it so hard to understand that we are adopting a set of twins?" Jesse asked, even though this had not been the intended path, he was still just barely small enough to hide under his baggiest clothes, although weight gain was definitely noticeable. And, of course, all of this mean that Wendy still did not know what was really going on.

Baby steps, somewhat literally.

"There are already three kids and three adults living here, it is a full house, and you want to add more? Where are these kids going to sleep?"

"In the nursery upstairs, you can go look at if you would like," Danny stood his ground, despite knowing that he was going to have to explain it all over again after Michelle got to her.

Jesse inhaled sharply. He hadn't expected the strange pain in his side. He tried not to make a sound, but the same tender organ was struck again.

After a third, small stab it became a little clearer what it was coming from. It actually made him smile. He never thought he would be so happy to be feeling pain. He needed to enjoy it now because there was going to be a time in the near future when the only thing he would be feeling was pain.

Danny noticed Jesse move his hand onto his right side. He raised his eyebrows, wanting more than anything to ask him if what was going on was a good or bad thing. But, he couldn't. 

"I still don't think it is a good idea. Your relationship hasn't exactly been long, what happens if you break up? What will happen to the girls if you break up?"

"Wendy," Danny began, taking one of his sister's hands in his. "Jesse and I have been together a lot longer than mom, or even the girls are aware of. I don't know what she told you, but it has been close to three years since all of this started. We are a strong couple. I love Jesse and he loves me and we cannot wait to add to our family. I am just hoping that you will still be a part of this family. There is already a grandmother missing, I would hate for them to miss out on an aunt, as well."

Wendy sighed. "How am I supposed to say that I don't want to be a part of this family when you say something like that?"

"I don't know, our mother was not very supportive of anything,"

"Well, I am not that way, and getting to meet my two new nieces or nephews is going to be amazing."

Jesse and Danny smiled at each other, reveling in the joy of their little secret. The two tiny babies that they created out of love made every bit of their unique relationship that much more special.

"Ugh, I have to pee," Jesse groaned, slowly getting up from the table.

"Again?" Wendy asked, trying not to have her eyes open as wide as they were.

"Yup," Jesse mumbled, carefully making his way towards the bathroom.

As soon as Jesse shut the bathroom door, Danny began fishing in his pocket. He pulled out a small velvet box, placing it on the table beside his sister. 

"What's that? Is that...an engagement ring?"

Danny opened the small box, revealing it to be exactly that, a simple engagement band, gold, with a small diamond that had a wonderful clarity. It was beautiful, despite its masculine shape. "It is,"

"Why would you have something like that? You can't marry another man."

"That isn't the point. I believe that one day we will be legally allowed to marry whoever we are in love with. I want Jesse to know that I love him that much, enough to make this commitment, even if we are not able to make it official for years to come. I don't care about the wait, I care about spending the rest of my life with the man that I love."

Jesse came back into the kitchen. Danny quickly hid the ring box back in his pocket.

"You two look way too nervous to actually be as silent as you are right now. It is very suspicious." Jesse said, one eyebrow raised as he took his seat. "I can honestly say that I don't like it."

"We weren't talking about you, if that was what you were wondering," Danny blurted out.

"Not really helping your case, babe,"

"Right, right, shutting up,"

D.J walked into the kitchen, completely unprepared to see her dad, Uncle Jesse, and Aunt Wendy all sitting at the table. Especially, considering all of the conversations that they all had about precautions with visitors, any visitors.

Sure, Wendy was family, but she was a part of the majority that did not know why Jesse had holed himself up in the house for the past few months. Which, could have been a good thing or a bad thing, obviously.

"Hey, Aunt Wendy, when did you get here? And, why didn't anyone tell us about it?"

Wendy shrugged. "Just a little while ago, but on why you didn't know, I'd put that all on these two,"

"Not me, I had no idea you were coming, all on Jess,"

Jesse made a muffled noise when he received another kick to an internal organ. It was amazing how much power those tiny feet had. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever been able to imagine what this would feel like, but yet, here he was, smiling again over something that was so clearly painful.

"I think I am going to go up to the nursery, D.J, would you like to join me?" Jesse asked.

Danny had been left in the dark once again, though he had ideas. On the bright side, this was going to give him the chance to finish what he was saying to his sister and hopefully better convince her that everything was going to be okay.

"Uh...sure?" 


	19. Misty Eyed

"Give me your hand," Jesse said, reaching out to grab D.J's hand.

"Why?"

"You have got to feel this, Deej, it is incredible," He chuckled, pressing his niece's palm against the side of his stomach.

There was movement, pressure from a tiny foot or fist. D.J squealed and pulled her hand back in shock.

"Is that!? Was that!? Oh mylanta!" 

"Shh...not too loud because your dad hasn't had the chance to feel them kick yet and your Aunt Wendy is not exactly in the loop as when it comes to the fact that I have a uterus," Jesse said quietly.

"I can't believe that I just felt one of my little brother's or sister's kick. That was so cool. I felt my mom's stomach when she was pregnant with Stephanie and then Michelle, but that was such a long time ago. And, this is different. I can't believe there are actually two tiny people growing inside of you." D.J laughed.

"You don't have to feel the kicks over and over, you are lucky," Jesse sighed. "It hasn't been that bad yet, but I know it is coming,"

"Dad is gonna freak out, he is going to be beaming like an idiot for weeks,"

"That's why he doesn't know yet, don't need him shouting and carrying on,"

Danny appeared in the doorway of the nursery. He didn't know what was going on and yet, he was already smiling. "Well, what do we have here?"

D.J glanced at her father, then back at Jesse. "You should tell him,"

Jesse nodded. "Yeah, hey, where is Wendy?"

"Downstairs, why?"

"Come inside and lock the door, it will be worth it, I promise,"

Danny shut the door behind him and stepped forward, accepting Jesse's hand when it was held out to him. Jesse pulled him into a tight embrace, kissing him on the cheek.

"Alright, what is going on?" Danny asked.

Jesse grabbed both of Danny's hands and slid them down to his sides. "Wait for it,"

"You are up to something...oh! Oh!" Danny said, practically giggling. "...those are...our twins. They are moving a lot."

"They move almost all day, this is just the first time that I have been one hundred percent sure that I was feeling their kicks and movements over something else,"

"I love you, I love you for being exactly who you are right now. I seriously have the most amazing family in the world. It just keeps getting better."

"Speaking of family, I owe Michelle ice cream and a talk about keeping secrets, at least until your sister leaves,"

"Be prepared to do that every single day..." 

*

Jesse had picked up the habit of resting his hands on top of his growing belly, which only served to further accentuate it more. It resulted in the need to hold a pillow in his lap when he was on the first floor of the house, which only seemed to make him more aware of his size.

And, he was having twins, so he was quite sizable, even just shy of six months.

His clothes became even more of an issue. There wasn't much left from his own wardrobe that he could wear, and although it was suggested, he couldn't bring himself to dig through what was left of Pam's things in search for something that she might have worn when she was pregnant. Truthfully, anything that he might have found probably would not have fit, anyways, because his hips were always significantly wider than his late sister's ever were.

"I hate this, I'm huge," Jesse groaned. "And I'm so damn uncomfortable. Why did you do this to me?"

Danny sat down beside him on the couch, pulling the blanket over his legs. "Does it help if I tell you that I think you look amazing?"

Jesse rolled his eyes. "No, because it would be a lie, I do not like being lied to,"

"I wouldn't lie about something like that," Danny whispered, sliding his hand over Jesse's belly, yanking the fabric of his shirt up in order to make contact with bare skin.

"Danny..." Jesse shuddered, biting down on his bottom lip as the hand on his stomach moved lower. "Danny..."

Danny's hand carefully slid past Jesse's waistband. His fingers found refuge and warmth in between his legs. The fact that Jesse was already moaning was just an added bonus.

"You're already wet," Danny mumbled, pressing a trail of kisses from Jesse's ear, downwards, as he slid his fingers inside.

Jesse tipped his head back, unable to hold back another moan. He grabbed a hold of Danny's hair, yanking him into a rough kiss. He hadn't realized how badly he wanted this until it started happening, but now he definitely did not want it to stop.

He began to move his hips in rhythm with Danny's long, talented fingers. He needed this, too.

He gasped rather audibly, eyes locked onto Danny's. "Fuck..." He shoved his hand down the front of Danny's slacks, palming at his erection through his boxers.

"Do you want to go upstairs?"

"No, let's do it right here,"

"What if someone comes home, or Wendy shows up early?"

Jesse grabbed Danny by the collar of his shirt. "I don't care. I want you, on this couch, right here, right now."

"You're sure? There is not a lot of room on this thing."

"Daniel Tanner, not another word until you are so deep inside of me that you can't even think straight,"

"Okay, you're on,"

Danny grabbed Jesse's legs, spreading them apart. He handed Jesse the pillow that had since fallen to the floor so that he could shove it behind his back. He slid into a more comfortable position, pulling his hard cock out, stroking and rubbing the head against Jesse's throbbing clit.

"You are so sexy," Jesse said breathlessly, nipping down Danny's jaw.

Danny made an almost animal sounding growl in response. He thrust hard into Jesse's tight, wet hole, loving how it felt and enjoying the difference in the feeling since Jesse had gotten pregnant.

Jesse let out a sigh. He moaned again and again. He was already so overly sensitive from what Danny's fingers had done to him. It was only going to be a matter of time. "Fuuu...oh my...god...Danny!" 

Jesse clawed down Danny's back, moving his hips against Danny again, keeping up with every thrust. It was incredible. It had been far too long. And, this was absolutely perfect.

The room was spinning. He was seeing stars and everything was white hot. There was something so fulfilling about this moment and how amazing it felt. Danny's lips pressed against his, fingers gripped tightly on his hips, brown eyes looking right into his soul, all of it.

He threaded his fingers back through Danny's hair. "I want you to come, come for me...come inside me,"

"Really?"

"Yes...ah...oh my god...fuck...please...I'm already pregnant...do it...." Jesse gasped, biting Danny's bottom lip.

Danny pressed his forehead against Jesse's. He snapped his hips, thrusting deeper and deeper into Jesse. His breathing became erratic, moaning loudly as Jesse's name spilled from his lips.

With the last one he hit just the right spot. Jesse cried out as his body began to spasm and shake. Danny came with him, hard.

They were both lost in bliss.

Danny took notice of the time. The girls would be walking through the front door at any moment. He quickly pulled on his pants back on and helped Jesse do the same. They were still sweaty, and their hair was a mess, but it was good enough.

He reached over and wiped a tear from Jesse's eye. "Are you crying?"

Jesse chuckled. "Just a little,"

"Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

"Yeah," Jesse half mumbled. "Just a little overly sensitive,"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, let's just say that the thing that you are already really good at...was like ten thousand times more intense,"

"I'll take that as a compliment,"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, even though I am pretty sure it is because of the changes to my body,"

"I'd rather think that it was all me,"

"Go for it," Jesse laughed, shaking his head.

The front door opened. Stephanie came running inside with a look of terror on her sweet face. "Kimmy Gibbler is en route, I repeat: Kimmy Gibbler is right behind me."

"And that is my cue to go get Michelle, it is time for our next conversation," Jesse said, pushing himself up off of the couch.

"You are leaving me alone with Gibbler?"

"No, Danny, I am leaving you and Stephanie alone with Gibbler,"

 


	20. Like A Rag Doll

Jesse sat down on Michelle's bed, hands resting on his belly in the way that he couldn't avoid doing. The twins had been rather active since the romp on the couch, and both were kicking pretty hard.

"Michelle, you know I love you, right?"

"Of course, I'm your little Michelle,"

"And you know that I love your sisters and I love your dad,"

"Yeah," Michelle instantly turned up the sass and put her hands on her hips. "What's your idea here, mister?"

Jesse laughed. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Okay,"

"Don't tell Kimmy that I'm having a baby. She isn't allowed to know. We practiced for this. Now you just need to keep your lips sealed."

"I thought that you were having two babies, Uncle Jesse?"

"That's not the point, munchkin, I am having two, but I need to know that you are not going to tell anyone what you know. Especially not Kimmy."

"You got it dude,"

Jesse shook his head. His youngest niece never ceased to entertain him. She reminded him so much of Pam. She was amazing, and it was incredible to watch her grow.

He couldn't even begin to imagine what it was going to be like to have his own children. It wouldn't be too long before he found out exactly what that was going to be like. But, there was no reason he couldn't enjoy just having three nieces that were practically close enough to him to be his daughters.

"Why do you keep touching your belly?"

"Do you want to feel the babies kicking?"

"Why are they doing that?" Michelle asked. "That isn't very nice."

"Actually, it is a good thing that they are moving around, it means that they are getting good practice for when they are born. Babies wiggle a lot. You were a very wiggly baby. Believe me."

"If you say so,"

"Well, do you want to feel them?" Jesse asked, holding out his hand.

Michelle nodded. Jesse took her hand and pressed it against the spot that was the easiest to feel. A tiny foot hit her hand. Her eyes grew wide and a smile quickly spread across her face. She was so surprised.

"Whoa..."

"I know, I know...very whoa,"

Becky walked in taking a seat at the small table in the middle of the room. She was quiet, just observing the sweet exchange between her best friend and his wonderful little niece.

Jesse caught sight of her out of the corner of his eye. "I didn't know you were coming over,"

"Danny called me. I am actually here to run interference. Kimmy, Wendy, and your mother are all going to be here within a few hours of each other, and with the overlap, we obviously do not want them all exchanging stories." She explained.

"What has become of my life when I have to have my best friend and my boyfriend run covert operations to order to keep people from finding out that I have a different past than other guys."

"Well, actually, I am mostly in charge of keeping Michelle occupied. D.J is obviously in charge of keeping Kimmy's nose out of things, leaving Danny to have an ear for whatever Wendy ends up talking about and with whom."

"Who's got my mother? You all know that she is loud, right? And, she knows what I've got in between my legs, she gave birth to me." 

Becky nodded. "Breathe, Jess, it is all going to be fine. We will all manage to get through this with minimal damage. I promise."

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" Jesse chuckled.

"You might have mentioned it once or twice, but that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy hearing it from time to time, a nice sort of reminder,"

"Are you going to feel Uncle Jesse's belly?" Michelle asked.

Becky raised her eyebrows, attention directly on Jesse's round belly. "Does that mean what I think it means?"

"Yeah, they are pretty active today,"

"Maybe they sense that you are anxious?"

"No, I haven't been anxious all day, there were other things...fun things...and they seem to like the sound of Danny's voice."

"Isn't that amazing, that they already react that way?"

"You should come feel it for yourself,"

Becky quickly rose to her feet and placed a hand on Jesse where he had directed her to do so. There was still movement, although, it was not nearly as strong as it had been earlier. A smile came over her face the moment that she was able to feel something. She was amazed.

Stephanie walked into the bedroom she shared with Michelle, throwing herself onto her bed, covering her face with a pillow. She shouted into the pillow until she was out of breath, tossing it to the side. She sighed loudly, gaining the attention of everyone in the room, even if that had not been her original intention.

"Steph...is everything alright?" Becky asked after Stephanie let out another audible sigh.

She sat upright. "Everyone is fighting downstairs, all I could hear was yelling,"

"Who's fighting?" Jesse asked, feeling his stomach drop.

"Grandma and Aunt Wendy, daddy is yelling, he's trying to make them stop," Stephanie explained in an exhausted tone. 

"Do you know why they are fighting?"

"Because of you,"

Jesse swallowed hard, eyes shut tight as he took a deep breath. "What about me?"

"Because our other grandma does not want you and daddy to be together, but grandma Katsopolis is okay with it,"

"Oh my god..." Jesse mumbled with his hands over his face.

"Don't let this get you down! We can go down there together and fight back."

Jesse ran his fingers through his hair. It didn't matter that his insecurities and dysphoria were crippling his mobility in that moment. Becky was right. They needed to go downstairs and attempt to diffuse the situation. Danny was no match against two strong willed women.

*

The most awkward of silences overcame the kitchen the second that Jesse stepped foot on the floor. This only went further to prove that they had all been talking about him. Now they were all staring.

"Well, don't let my presence stop the party,"

Irene rushed to his side, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Sweetie, how have you been? I was just telling Wendy here that it was a shame that her mother was no longer present in your lives because she is going to miss out on her two new grandchildren. She doesn't realize how stupid she is being, removing herself from the picture because she doesn't like gays."

Jesse held a hand up. "Ah, technically, Danny 'removed' her because she refused to accept us as a couple."

"It is practically the same thing, Jess,"

"Whatever you say, Ma'," Jesse grumbled, rolling his eyes.

"That's right," She huffed. "By the way, hi Becky,"

"Who is she?" Wendy asked. In her defense, the information seemed rather relevant at the moment. And, she didn't watch much tv in Africa.

"She's Jesse's ex-girlfriend," Irene announced, awkwardly.

"Why is she here, exactly?"

"Because she is our friend, and my co-host," Danny explained.

Becky was embarrassed to the point of being dead silent.

"Oh, right,"

"What is with all of the hostility in here? It shouldn't be like this. We are a family." 

"Exactly," Danny said as he took the few steps that were required to get his long legs to get to where Jesse was standing. "I understand that we are not always going to be able to see eye to eye. Wendy, you can visit our mother and be a part of our lives, as well. There is nothing wrong with that, but you need to support us, as a couple, as parents, and I would like for you to tell our mother that we are good together and she is wrong about us. Irene, you are very supportive of us, which is hard considering everything that your own family has been through, but I respect the hell out of you for doing so. I would like for you to avoid fighting with my sister about things my mother has done, however. It isn't her fault. It should not be taken out on her. Would either of you like to add anything, Jess, Becky?"

"I'm really just here for moral support, and backup, if needed," Becky told him, not wanting to get anymore involved than she actually had to.

"I think you about covered it, Danny. You never cease to amaze me. I love you." 

"I am just worried about the girls here, just like everyone else, this could mess them up if something goes wrong, but we are already decided that I supported this family." Wendy said.

"I need to lie down..." Jesse sighed. "I will be upstairs if anyone needs me for something that is important and not completely petty,"

"I'll go with you," Irene added, turning to follow her son.

They were a long way from having this all worked out. And, it was unfortunately too much for Jesse to handle and this juncture. He needed to rest. He needed to not be submerged directly into the drama for once in the duration of his pregnancy.


	21. Living in Tune With a New Time

"Why is this so exhausting? No one ever bothered to warn me about this!" Jesse groaned, lying down on the bed.

His mother sat at the foot of the bed with one hand on his right leg. "Honey, you're pregnant. You watched your sister go through three, did it look easy? There is a human being, or in your case, two human beings, growing inside of you, feeding off of you, and it is a long, hard process. It is worth it, but there is no doubt that it is draining."

"It is going to be the death of me, I hate the way that my body looks, I hate the way that I feel. I hate the fact that Danny is always having to defend our relationship and our family. It is horrible."

"I never thought you would be in this situation. I am trying, and I love you so very much, but this is incredibly hard. I can't say it enough. This is different. There is no book to match our situation. Ours is a very unique one. But, those twins, are all the proof in the world that something good has come from all of the upheaval this family has suffered over the years. Your sister would be so happy for you and Danny. Tragedy brought you together, but love is what keeps you there."

"Ma..."

"Do you think that Danny would continue to defend your relationship if he didn't love you and those two little darlings that you are going to bring into this world?"

"No, but..."

"Then so what if you are tired all of the time, you've gained a little bit of weight, your feet have gotten huge, your nose is wider...you're Greek, you're a Katsopolis, your nose was a little on the small side to begin with. You are a strong man, you will get through this, even the worst parts."

"Right, right, I get it, I'll stop complaining,"

Irene chuckled. "Might not be the worst idea, especially now. Maybe you might benefit from some real positivity."

"Who said I wasn't being positive?"

She looked right into her son's eyes. She didn't even have to say a word. He understood.

"Fine. I'll be more positive."

*

Jesse sat with the same pillow in his lap that he usually had, glasses on, reading a pregnancy book that his mother had given him. He had it hidden behind an Elvis magazine, however, someone would certainly be able to see it if they walked behind him. He felt pretty safe. The only threat he really had now was Kimmy, and he honestly was not even that worried about her. 

The book didn't even feel very relevant, written for a woman and not a man, but he had more important things to worry about than books or Kimmy Gibbler's whereabouts. He was very pregnant and tired and trying to prepare himself for parenthood. 

"You have a doctor's appointment today," Joey said in the most ridiculous matter-of-factly tone when he sat down beside his friend.

"Yes, I do. What is your point?"

"Danny wants me to take you,"

Jesse raised an eyebrow at the stand up comic with the strange look on his face. "I thought that Danny was going to take me?"

"He is held up at work with Becky, he said that he would meet us afterwards,"

"Okay, whatever, you are waiting out in the lobby though, I just don't want to have...you don't need to see everything. I'm not trying to sound mean, but my junk is only the business of myself, Danny, and the doctor."

Joey shook his head, putting a hand up. "Say no more, I totally understand. I really don't need to erase the illusion of everything by seeing your...by your...you know..."

"I do,"

"Good, I was worried that i was going to come off as offensive,"

"You are just afraid to say the word VAGINA,"

"No...no...no..."

"VAGINA, VAGINA, Va-GINA, happy? Now, I am going to go get ready to leave so we can beat the girls back to the house."

"I'm not afraid to say the word," Joey called at Jesse as he walked away. 

Jesse stopped before going up the stairs. "Then say it,"

"Uh..."

"Exactly. Can you say penis? Because I know that you have one. I can say the word, too. Penis. Simple. Unfortunately, I was not lucky enough to have the same thing. So, uh, vagina." Jesse said, strangely accepting of the words and what they were capable of. He took a deep breath, waiting to see if perhaps Joey had something else to say. He was dead silent.

He shook it off and went up to his bedroom. He was not going to be late for this appointment over something stupid.

*

The appointment was quick. Jesse was lucky enough to still have a normally progressing pregnancy and everything was growing at a healthy rate, his bump and the twins. 

He still did not want to know what their gender was. He didn't want to confine them to the standards of society. He also figured that he was going to find out soon enough.

He met up with Joey in the lobby, finding him pacing outside of the main office. 

"And you are pacing because?"

"Danny is late,"

Jesse smothered a laugh because of the way that it sounded. "Well, that's fine, we can wait for him back at the house,"

"No, we should really wait for him here,"

"Joseph, what is going on?"

"Nothing. Nothing is going on. We just need to wait for Danny here."

"Alright, fine, we will do it your way, but I am going to go sit down, you can keep walking back and forth, or you can join me." Jesse chuckled, finding that he just wanted one day of whatever the most normal existence he could have. One whole day, but alas, he was a pregnant man and that was not going to happen. "Never mind, I cannot handle you pacing. I demand that you sit down this instant!!"

Joey listened. He didn't dare defy Jesse with as cranky as he had been lately. Though, in his defense he had ever right to be so unbelievably cranky, because he was sinking into the stereotypes of his current situation.

Joey sat down beside his friend, trying not to stare at the roundness of his belly. Even though he knew how all of this was possible, it was still sometimes hard to process that this man beside him was carrying the twins of his childhood best friend. It was forever going to be strange.

Danny finally approached the pair, crossing his arms and staring at them with a confused look on his face. "What is going on here?"

Jesse looked up, face brightening up the moment that he laid eyes on the tall drink of water he fell in love with. "Hey baby,"

"How are our babies?" Danny asked, expression softening.

"They are still perfect and healthy, all we have left to do now is wait for their arrival,"

Danny chuckled. "That is amazing,"

"Well, I am going to head off, okay, leave the two of you to your business, whatever that may be," Joey announced, getting up to leave.

Jesse furrowed his brow. "He really has no idea how to be subtle, does he? Seriously, very suspicious."

"I have...I have no idea what you could possibly mean by that,"

Jesse wasn't buying it. Danny could see it. There was no getting out of it.

"Sure. Sure. How about you cut the crap, as well, hmm?"

Danny held his hand out. "Or, maybe, you could just follow me. I promise that you will like where we end up."

"Saying things like that does not make me trust you, Daniel, how do I know that you are not going to take me to the funny farm or something like that?"

"Jess, really?"

"Well, your family already thinks that I am crazy, and they don't even know the half of it," Jesse said with a shrug.

"My mother and my sister are hardly enough of an influence on me, besides, it isn't that bad,"

"Alright, fine, take me away,"

Danny pulled Jesse up, into a warm embrace in the empty hall. It felt so incredible, so perfect, to be this close in a technically public setting. For reasons that Jesse couldn't explain, this was all he ever really wanted.

And, for this to be happening while he was pregnant, was somehow even better.

"Can you even give me a hint?"

Danny shook his head. "Not even in the slightest, I can't, I have worked too hard on this."


End file.
